The Butt Dial - part 2

She did just that, put the phone in her back pocket next to her butt and I talked to her butt. I said, "Hey there Butt! How are you doing today? Why'd you call me? Is there something you want to tell me?"

Her Butt made a swish and swash noise and she walked. I listened carefully and replied, "What? You say you're staying in good shape? You're healthier now than before?"

"Huh? You've been growing bigger and bigger?" At least that's what I think the butt said.

I added, "When you get home, maybe you should get a crayon and put measuring lines on a wall, up, down and sideways. This way you can measure how much bigger you're getting each way with each day. Cool idea, huh?"

"Oh, but be careful. Don't you go growing yourself too darn big. Yikes! Then, you'd have to go on a diet, or slim down somehow, or continue growing and risk having to sit in the front seat of your car with no room for a passenger, just all big butt in the front of the car."

"Wha - ? What happened to my butt, you ask? Oh, I lost my azzz at a casino two years ago, or something like that, and I've had a flat butt ever since. Heck, I don't even have enough butt to hold up my pants. I gotta wear suspenders or paste in my pants to keep them up."

"Huh? You gotta go now? Well, find a nearby restroom."

"Oh, you mean you gotta hang up and go on with your day. Sorry, I misunderstood."

"Okay then. It sure was nice talking to you. No, no, don't thank me. I thank YOU for calling me today. The pleasure was all mine. Although, I was surprised to hear from you."

"Who? Wha- ? Where? You enjoyed chatting with me too? Aww, now you're making me blush! You flatter me. See what you do to me?"

"Okay bye. Uh. now can you let me talk to your head and face area again. I gotta tell her to hang up the phone."

Padded Cheeks grabs the phone out of her back pocket and says, "Are you done talking to my butt yet?"

Rob: "Yup! All done. We had a good little chat. Thanks for connecting us. I guess I'll see you around, Paddy."

Padded Cheeks replies, "Yeah sure, whatever!"

Upon ending the phone call, Paddy says to herself, "That there is one crazy dude, talking to my butt and all! Ha ha ha! Imagine that!"

She pauses, then says, "Oh, I better hurry up! I've got a dog wedding to go to. I hope the doggie couple likes the new smart TV I bought them as a wedding gift."

PS: Story is fictional. Or is it?
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Comments (15)

A song to accompany part 2 of this story:

"Her Strut" by Bob Seger

She's totally committed
to major independence
She's a lady through and through

She gives them quite a battle
All that they can handle
She'll bruise some
She'll hurt some too

But oh, they love to watch her strut
Ooh, they do respect her but
They love to watch her strut

Sometimes they'll want to leave her
Just give up and leave her
But they would never play that scene

In spite of all her talking
Once she starts in walking
The lady will be all they ever dreamed

Oh, they'll love to watch her strut
Ooh, they'll kill to make the cut
They love to watch her strut

Watch her strut now

Oh, they love to watch her strut
Ooh, they do respect her but
They love to watch her strut

Love her strut
Love to, love to, love to watch her strut

Love to watch her strut
They love her strut ..
laugh laugh its good to have a morning laugh---i hope it was just a story wow

It was just a story? uncertain

Or could it be true? (dramatic music) help

It was rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing thank yougrin
Hello Capri,

I'm glad you liked this odd story.

Butt dialing seems to be a common thing that happens amongst lots of people. So, I thought, could it be, people's butts are actually trying to call other people? wow

I wish you a happy fun day!
Got a bit mixed up in your blogs butt it's a fun idea.rolling on the floor laughing

I get mixed up too. For a moment, I thought this was the Rusty Nuds Meets Chloe Cobwebs blog story. shock

Thanks for reading this story and for your fun comment.
I wish you a nice day, BUTT if it's a gray day, then I wish you a rainbow during or after the rain.
Well Robert, it's nice you had a chance to talk with someone...I mean something, even tho just an a**.

Long time customer of mine would always keep her phone tucked in between her tight fitting tank top. She was err ahh... let's just say, well endowed up there. I can't tell you how many times her boobs called me... but it was A LOT! Sadly, no longer a customer of mine. I miss talking to them... I mean her.blues

Wow! That would be awesome, err I mean educational and interesting to have a chat with the puppies, the boobs, the maracas, the peaches (and so on). wow

Ah but too bad they don't call you anymore. Darn it! frustrated Don't you just hate when that happens?

Yeah Robert, Puppies. I remember as a kid, laying on the ground, with puppies all over me. Nothing like it! Things really don't change much do they?cheers
Robert, I thought this was going to lead to the second night stand. Paddy sounds like she likes to get padded. laugh

Btw, I think this is non-fiction. uh oh

You are really creative, unless it is on the floor laughing
Yes Loh-key,

a guys gotta love them puppies. grin

A second one night stand with Paddy? Yikes! She's padded like a big darn water balloon! I could've got sea-sick, motion sickness. Either that or plastered if she sat on me. Whew! help

This story could be fictional. Or is it non-fictional? "Admit to nothing. Admit to nothing." grin


Well, in a way it could be non-fictional, because I've received calls at times that friends later tell me, "Oh, it must have been a Butt Dial."

I think to myself, "What the heck?" Can't they carry their phone in a case, purse, bra, something other than putting in their back pocket? doh

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Somewhere, California, USA

I am friendly and I do my best to be understanding. I work hard and thoughtfully to hopefully always make life happier and better for myself and those I may love and care about. [read more]

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