The Pool Tournament Championship Night - part 1Down at the Pool Hall, it was the big night. The Championship Tournament Night! The grand prize was 300 dollars, OR a case of beer with a case of toilet paper, OR a full tank of gas.
It'd been rounds of battles from a group of sixteen players days earlier, and now it was down to the final two players, Johnny "Pool Balls" Sparten (they called him Pool Balls for some darn reason, not exactly sure why) versus Stubby "Peanut" Baker (they called him Peanut for some reason. Maybe his last girlfriend caught him bathing in cold water. Oh no! Not that!)
On one end of the table, there was Johnny with his big, long cue stick and his girlfriend Chee-Chees Wangas by his side. They called her Chee-Chees Wangas because, well, her #@%# hung down to her waistline when standing, to her knees when sitting. And Johnny just loved that about her. Oh yeah!
At the other end of the table, there was Peanut with his stubby cue stick and his girlfriend Itty Bitties by his side. They called her Itty Bitties because, well, her #@%# were itty bitty. So much so, she wore two small strips of adhesive bandages instead of a bra. Great way to save money, huh?
Then there was the Event Announcer, Rob787, with no lady by his side, but Molestina, Kissy Myas and Chloe Cobwebs were there in the audience waving and winking an eye at Rob. Not because they wanted him for romantic action, but because they wanted him to buy them drinks all night.
Soon, Announcer Rob grabbed the microphone that was hanging from the ceiling and started to announce, "Ladies and gentlemen, drunks and lushes! Welcome to the Big Pool Tournament Championship. Tonight, this Championship game is between the two players .. "
Suddenly, many people in the audience started shouting, "Shut up! Get out of the way! Let them play already! We don't need no announcer! Stop talking so loudly, I can't see," and more stuff like that. They even threw a beer can or two at him.
So, Rob moved the hail out of the way and let the players get started.
Next, just as the guys were about to start playing, they noticed there was a lady that had just started playing at the championship table. It was none other than the younger adult lady named Yora Peen, and she was a blonde. A Yora Peen Blonde, just the kind of woman Johnny had always had wet dreams about. She was with another lady named Eileen Ohver.
Just one look at Yora Peen, and Johnny fell into a trance, hypnotized by her beauty. He grinned big, walked up to Yora Peen and said, "Hey beautiful, er, uh, eh, what was I going to say? Oh yeah, now I remember. Err, you're really very lovely. I'd like to sleep with you sometime. I mean, I - uh, we have a championship game to play here at this pool table right now. It - it's for a big prize. Very important."
"Would, eh would you mind moving your azzz out of the way, so we can play? And take your girlfriend with you too."
Yora Peen looked at Johnny, tugged at her low top to show him some cleavage, put a leg up on a chair to show him some leg. And with that, Johnny was really hooked, line and stinker, err sinker.
(Story concludes with part 2, later today or tomorrow, depending on your time zone)