Met Someone(Dating Advice)

I usually post stuff like this on Facebook but I thought I’d come here and ask for advice this time. For those of you experienced with dating I need help. I met a new man and I’m wondering what SHOULDN’T a woman do when dating a man. Last relationship went south after only dating 4 months. He broke up with me over text stating everything wrong with me oh but of course he did nothing wrong. Anyway, that’s neither here nor there anymore. All I know is that relationships are so fragile in the beginning that I need advice from all walks of life and maybe this will help others here too and not just me. That’s what this site is about anyway. I honestly thought we were good until he blurted out what was wrong with me. Please help keep me from being stunned this time. Maybe I’m not as self aware as I thought. And please don’t ask me what my ex said I did. I want this to be a forward thinking blog with DONT’S. Thank you. bouquet
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Comments (14)

If I found myself in a fresh dating scenario I wouldn't concentrate on those last words that were all negative from an ex..You have allowed that man to make you feel as though you aren't good enough..You have allowed that man to break your spirit..Take back that power & just enjoy this new journey..Don't think of past negativity..Look ahead & just go with the flow & enjoy this fresh journey.

happiness is within
Totally agree! Move forward with positive thoughts about yourself and the new relationship.thumbs up
He broke up with you over text so I wouldn't worry too much about that. You might take him more seriously if he said it to your face.

All I'd say is that it wasn't meant to be. 3 to 4 months is a clincher that's sort of the rules with relationships. If you'd made it past 6 months you'd have to stay together a year.
How do Mer wave
gosh but it's a long time since I gave advice about love and relationships....
but anyways here goes and at the top of my head two things come to mind.

1/ don't try to please him ...instead put that role in reverse wink

2/ NEVER question what you shouldn't do again.

As for what he blamed you for, don't dwell on it.
could be he felt the relationship wasn't going anywhere and rather than being straight with you... he took the easy way out.... MEN doh
Mermaid ~ I know you are a nice person and not a rude boisterous nasty woman, Even if you were the way you have been treated is not actually the reality of dating in the main.
Most men have more manners than to give you a list of your faults. This is a way of justifying his cruel and crude unmanly way of texting you as he hadn't the b-lls to tell you in person. thumbs down thumbs down

Once a man starts [particularly in the last case, in early days of telling you what is wrong with you it is a bad sign. A sign of a control freak, somebody who wants to change you, or at best, with an unrealistic view of what a woman should be. A perfection seeker.

Were these men perfection ? I don't want you to answer here, ask yourself.
My honest opinion at 71 and I still date by the way, is to interview the man on a date without him guessing, see the traits and watch for the red flags. Usually if the man is for you , there is no need for this.

Most of all be yourself. Stop people pleasing when it comes to men, that only attracts scum that will text you your faults.
You are too nice for that. I hope I was of some help.
P.S. Look in the mirror and tell yourself you are not taking any more bad treatment from men.
You are way above that , bouquet
Interesting blog. Good topic for a dating site.
Some men blame women for that same behavior you describe.
Men and Women are guilty of behaving badly.

Some people don't take the time to get to know another. As soon as their fragile feels are hurt they take the exit door. Yeah, dating has change forever.
I read your profile and can guess why he broke up with you but I won't say it here.sigh
Maybe you didn't do anything wrong... different men like different things so he just wasn't your guy..
Maybe something was wrong with him and he wanted you to feel a way..
Maybe if you just continue to be yourself then your new guy or guy in the future will stick and appreciate you for you...
Happiness is the way, there is no way to happiness. I'd Tell him to bug off.
Happiness is an inside job, If we go to a relationhip/Dating looking for love and happiness without self love and being happy in ourselves then no relationship will work. Work on the self, self esteem, self love and have fun and enjoy things alone and with friends. A man will be nice to go out with but not the end of the world if he does not appreciate all the good you have to offer.
Thank you all. The person who said I’m a people pleaser is right about that. I didn’t want to believe that I am but I am. So I’m going to turn that around on myself and just make sure that I’m happy. Plus I can see how the wrong man would stick around because I’m a people pleaser…who wouldn’t like someone catering to them?? As soon as I didn’t cater to him and made it about me he got mad. It all makes sense now. Thank you again.
Mermaid ~ That was me Mermaid. I was not judging you. I was drawing on my own experience over many years with men. You will catch a keeper no worries about that. Best of luck . bouquet
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Fresno, California, USA

I just have this as a back up to meeting someone in real life. I will NOT provide more pics. The ones posted are my most recent. If you won’t meet me to see what I look like you’re not worth my time. That’s why I prefer meeting someone in real life i [read more]

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created Aug 12
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