'The FBI Raid On Melania's Closet Was Justified,' Says Merrick Garland

WASHINGTON, D.C. — With many Americans up in arms over the unprecedented raid of former President Trump's residence in Mar-a-Lago by the FBI, Attorney General Garland released a statement to assure everyone the raid was completely justified.WASHINGTON, D.C. — With many Americans up in arms over the unprecedented raid of former President Trump's residence in Mar-a-Lago by the FBI, Attorney General Garland released a statement to assure everyone the raid was completely justified.

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Eyewitnesses noted he looked unusually fetching in an elegant Dolce & Gabbana evening gown and a Dior sun hat.

"We wouldn't raid Trump's Mar-a-Lago estate or Melania's wardrobe unless it was absolutely, 100% necessary," said Garland. "I resent any accusation that this raid was influenced by partisan politics or my insatiable desire to wear pretty designer dresses." The Attorney General then did a little spin in his purple gown as the press gasped with delight.

FBI Director Christopher Wray echoed the statement as he strode up to the Hoover Building in a dazzling pair of diamond-encrusted Alexander McQueen stilettos. "The men and women of the FBI are paragons of unassailable integrity and impartiality, and any suggestion otherwise is murderous treason," he said. Several news outlets present also noted the delicious smell of Chanel No.5 in the air.

At publishing time, Trump took to Truth Social to announce that all his golf clubs were also missing.

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Comments (4)

Yes, I can imagine that they had "fun" with Melanie's clothes Willy.
Trump told they left her clothes in a mess.
That too is unforgivable for sure..........thumbs down
Dems are fascists....becoming a criminal organization that sellout RINOs conspire with. A Revolution would require our military.....and those heads are corrupt as well! barf
Rich, poor, middle class..we can all relate to the horror of anyone invading our home, rooting through our belongings, causing havoc and ordering us outside while they do it. What is the difference between the FBI and a burglar or vandal. As far as I know, cops allow family members to observe.
This smacks of Gestapo or Russia, China or North Korea, not a supposedly law abiding free nation. Our home is supposed to be our sanctuary. How Melania must feel knowing her room was rooted through by strangers.
Perhaps the FBI knew where to search, the basement, offices,etc. But, with them being so secretive, we imagine them raging through everything, tossing panties into chandeliers, pots onto floors, paperwork strewn around worse than a tornado. We, the people, are left outside in the dark to rage against the rudeness of an invading army.very mad
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Willy3411

Lawton, Oklahoma, USA

Retired old guy. Loves sports, music, and karaoke. Not shy about singing.Love to travel. Love to go to beaches and warm weather outdoor events. U.S. Air Force Veteran. I am here for the blogs. I am an amputee. My lower leg is gone.

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