Biden Explains We Can Only Come Together As A Nation By Exterminating The Republican Half
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a stirring call for unity and peace in America, President Biden today called for killing off half the country."It's real simple, folks! " said President Biden. "America can be united if we can just murder everyone who disagrees with me. Peace in our time, Jack!"
While most Democrats agreed with Biden's understatedly brilliant plan, some expressed concern that he was getting ahead of himself. "We've only just recently introduced the idea that anyone who disagrees with us is a dangerous extremist who deserves to die," said DNC Chair Jaime Harrison. "You've got to give that a little more time to marinate before we really start taking them out."
Republicans argued that telling people you disagree with to die isn't really unity, but to no avail. "Hey, I tried asking nicely for you to stop disagreeing with me," said Biden. "But you Republicans are making unity impossible by insisting on saying I'm wrong. So we've got to do what any good democracy does - kill all of you."
At publishing time, Biden accused Republicans of violence after they reportedly started buying guns to defend themselves from extermination.
Comments (16)
I was Unaware the Babylon Bee Quit Satire & is now Reportin' REAL NEWS!! ... ::dunno:
Presidente 81 million
..has the Technology & the will to use it...
To become...
Presidente 86 MILLION.
Cuz I KNOW How much some folks Respect & Love Hearin' from Sky News -
Enjoy, Y'all ...
No need to have animosity between the US and America, either, they can stay on friendly terms as long as they don't interfere in each other's policies, even support each other when the continent is under threat.
Otherwise yup you are all going to kill each other. Nobody who wants Trump will ever accept anyone else, and nobody else will ever accept him.
No need to have animosity between the US and America, either, they can stay on friendly terms as long as they don't interfere in each other's policies, even support each other when the continent is under threat.
Otherwise yup you are all going to kill each other. Nobody who wants Trump will ever accept anyone else, and nobody else will ever accept him.
Since "Unifier" Ol' Joe's been POTUS -
The Concept's gained Remarkable Interest - Among MAGAs & WokeComs Alike ...
To UnSpit the Venom he Clearly Spat - And Deny he threatened 'em with F15s -
Though he Actually Really DID ...
1st they have him Gaffe & Gore the WokeComs' Ox ...
Them Lie that' they Didn't have him Do what he Clearly DID ...