# Chocolate makes some cough it seems

In 1968, living then in Christchurch, and two years into a 50 year programming career, I went alone to a performance of Claudio Arrau, then a world-famous Chilean pianist. I remember him, more than 50 years later, as a slight, small man, of dark moustache and hair, looking perhaps older than he was. Early in the first half I ate a piece of chocolate and shortly began uncontrollable coughing so that I had to leave the concert hall in a hurry.
The remainder of the concert (on my return) was flawed, many mistakes and I wondered whether he had my cough too!

That was perhaps the first time I noted the coughing-chocolate connection, confirmed subsequently on many occasions. If I go to a play or concert, chocolate is forbidden! Online search shows many have this reaction, and there are various explanations.

That's an interesting thing. May I ask you a mathematical riddle (you may have heard it)?
How do you make a polar bear?
I gorge on kilos of that faecal-like stuff. Never did I cough once in my 41 years of sustained addiction. I guess I should consider myself lucky thus far.
Get a male polar bear, make it ejaculate somehow, collect the fluid in a clean sauce pan. Get a female bear quick, suck the fluid in a syringe and lastly, inseminate the female. I guess that would work.
You start off with a Cartesian Bear, and then give it polar coordinates

That mathematical witticism, I read somewhere
Hm. I'm more into biology. Math was never my thing.
You could make a bear in that fashion, however, so your answer is also correct

Wouldn't the "natural method" be a better approach? No-one wants to be wrangling with one of those things, surely?

I don't think so actually. Animals in captivity are under stress and that kills the feeling. Basically, it apparently is hard to breed animals the natural way in captivity. It's probably why horses, cattle and even pigs are artificially inseminated. There might be other reasons. We need the input of a farmer here I suppose.
They need to make chocolate polar bears, to raise funds for the preservation of polar bears!
As you say, AI is probably the go, with these bears, in captivity.

They would be white chocolate bears, obviously...
strip him of his radius so then he's just cis(theta). No one can beta cis(theta) I tellz yuh, omegawd!
The best cheese for coaxing a bear out of the words is camembert.

(Say it out loud, in a coaxing voice)
How did a bear break into a chocolate thread. Unbearable or unbarable. Buttocks to you lcbr. (pronounced as in Forrest Gump)
well, bears seemed to be taking over ...

Chocolate hasn't ever made me cough but toothpaste is the best way I know to stop a niggling cough, take a tube next time you go to a concert, and yes you will get odd looks when you put a splodge on the back of your tongue (recommended) but on the bright side will be minty fresh.

So if I lean over and place a big smack on the mouth of the nonogenarian turkey sitting beside me, relishing the Mahler, she at least won't slap me and say 'you've got smoking hippo whisky breath!'. Instead she'll say 'you've got peppermint smoking hippo whisky breath!'
Phew, no-one's ever said either of those to me, but who knows!
Maybe an antitussive cough mixture, taken prior to the event, would help?

@lcbr so do you think there's a market for Chocolates with cough mixture filling? Pure marketing genius! Antitussive dark choco delights!
FF
Perhaps if you took the wrapper off the bar first before shoving the whole thing down your throat, you may find it not such a problem. Were there instructions on the bar on how to consume?
You could fill small white chocolate polar bears, with recommended doses of cough medicine, and then they would be medicinal, antitussive bears, so to speak...
@CA great question Chum. ever tried reading instructions in a concert hall? Twit, don't bother visiting my threads, I suggest...
Generalised equation for a polar bear:

PB(r, theta) =|f(r)|cis(theta)

Where PB is the outline of the bear on the Argand Plane (join the dots).....

This is a thing: apparently, there are "grolar bears" around nowadays. As a result of climate change, grizzly bears have bred with polar bears, creating, you guessed it, - "grolar bears"

There are such bears, I believe...
Scratches ever-balding head and wonders, ponders, what confluence of atoms and electromagnetic waves made that bloody @lcbr drop that piece of (groan) un-bearable tripe here tonight? What happens if you mate a koala with a polar bear or a grizzly for that matter - I think you'd be bearking up the wrong tree.
Well, that would be more than I could bear; but I think you'll find that there's a bear in there...
Here for your enjoyment, are a selection of grolar bears.....

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## FargoFan

sydney, New South Wales, Australia

Retired but teaching and studying every day, travelling whenever I can and at home wherever I happen to be. From a small family but wishing I were part of a larger one. My students are scattered all over the world, as is my family. Language is a part [read more]