Who forgives and forgets, for how long?

No, my animals have too...

I was married for 26-years. Forgiving and forgetting are almost required, if one is to stay married that long. I would always forgive my wife more readily that I forgive myself. But, that all would certainly depend upon what was being forgiven.

Neither she nor I "messed around" behind each other's back. We'd both had it happen to us or had seen it in the past, so neither of us were interested in that horrible way of life.

But, all the little things: getting falsely accused of eating the last bit of ice-cream, or any false accusation, big or large; hearing the same complaint over and over again, until you almost want to scream, but then you realize you love that person more than you want to scream at them, so you smile, instead; etc.

See, too many people, here, are too busy to even say hello, or so disconnected from proper social behavior to include their name during introductions. When you are having a conversation, when they are done, they almost never say good-bye or good-night, they just logout, and act like everything is just peachy the next time you speak. It used to be if somebody hung up on you when talking on the phone, then it was very rude, at the very least, unless, of course, it was an emergency.

Without some measure of forgiveness/forgetting, I couldn't have been here on CS more than a week. And I see many that can't handle it even that long.

Patience helps, but at some point you realize the utter futility of it all. And, this site seems to be not much different from any other site I had been on.

So, what's my take on it? Well, it certainly depends upon the person and what is to (potentially) be forgiven, but as a rule of thumb, just put it all on a scale and then choose your battles. It seems that some people here want to fight a full battle over every word they say, as if they hold all the wisdom in the world in their skull--likely not so. That will often distance you from others, and possibly even allow them to ridicule you behind your back. It is okay to state an opinion, but then let others have their say. Maybe engage in discourse, but don't make it personal. And if they take it personal, either let them know that it isn't appropriate, or just walk away. A person that is irrational during their discourse, will likely be irrational at other things and at other times, as well. Just walk away, and let the irrational folk putter about by themselves.

Hope this help. Comments welcome.


Shalom,
Iyyov

You seem very old fashioned in views. My views are way out of range of most. This is not a complaint but my way of life. I am used to being ridiculed and it might phase me a few seconds and then it's passed. People are just people. Tx for the concern. Genuine friends are welcome...

Avoid the inevitable for a very limited amount of time..
It will come to byte you sooner than you expect...

In my lifetime people forgive and forget for only a short period...till the next accusations...
And that counts for All human beings...

Perhaps. But there are those that study and practice other ways. Maybe learn those ways, instead?

Unfortunately all end up the same...