The Silent treatment.
For centuries, women have been ‘credited’ with the use and abuse of this phenomenon, as a means of spiting men who have upset them in some way (usually emotionally). Many men have the opinion that, even though women may think that they are doing something to ‘punish’ their men, they are actually doing them a favour when they are silent
. That’s both funny and unfortunate…yet realistic. Silence can bring peace – to think, to sleep, to enjoy a show, to just ‘be’ – to warring parties.But the silent treatment can be used by all men too, in the same ways or for the same reasons. For example, a man may become upset with his wife/partner due to her actions and decide to ‘have nothing to say’ because he’s trying to figure things out and deciding how/if he should address it. Many women may do the same in similar circumstances, so I don’t think that the phenomenon is gender-based
. The silent treatment may be used before an argument occurs when one party senses rising tensions, in an attempt to prevent it happening. It may be used during an argument to signal either a frustrated surrender or agreement. And, it may be used after an argument to underscore the disagreement between the parties. As a person with a penchant for introspection, I use silence more often than others might, even when I’m not upset with anyone in particular. But, it’s most popularly used after a disagreement (verbal or non-verbal), when one or more party becomes upset.
However, when a woman is upset with her husband/partner/sibling/friend, the silent treatment can give her the opportunity to distance her mind from the ‘offender’ whilst giving her the space to think and assess the situation, towards figuring out the best way forward for herself, the situation and the relationship (this works well for me). And, hopefully, whilst she’s doing that, he’s doing the same thing as well
.So, treat yourself to some silence today.
Comments (8)
Love the backdrop of live contortionists too!
Love the backdrop of live contortionists too!
There are times in relationships when being silent is acceptable and even productive. For instance, a couple, or even just one partner, may take a thoughtful timeout from a heated argument to cool off or gather their thoughts. What distinguishes this silence from the silent treatment is that the timeout is mindful and there is an assumption or agreement that they will revisit the topic again later." (Verywellmind.com)
"The silent treatment should not be confused with taking time to cool down after heated or difficult exchange. Williams suggests that instead of reverting to the silent treatment, try ‘I can’t talk to you right now, but we can talk about it later.’ Nobody engages the silent treatment expecting it to damage the relationship, and that’s the danger." (heysigmund,com)
"Research has found that people who received the silent treatment experienced a threat to their needs of belonging, self-esteem, control, and meaningful existence.
This type of behavior reinforces the feeling that someone we care about wants nothing to do with us. It can feel as though you don’t exist. No matter what you try to do, you cannot reach the other person. On the contrary, there is absolutely nothing wrong with setting healthy boundaries in relationships and disagreements or sharing that you need to take a time out, break, or step away to calm down and reset. This demonstrates that you can recognize when your emotions are escalating and take the necessary steps to recover, which is a sign of emotional intelligence." (Choosingtherapy.com)
What do you think?
If someone is having an
episode,most definitely
silence deters escalation
along with the neutrality
stance.(safe distance).
If someone is having an
episode,most definitely
silence deters escalation
along with the neutrality
stance.(safe distance).