Biden Assures Nation He Will Confront The Alien Invasion After He Deals With These Hotel Junk FeesWASHINGTON, D.C. — In a last-minute address to a concerned nation, Biden assured the American public that he will confront the current alien invasion once he has successfully defeated hotel junk fees.
"Listen, folks, I know our air force is busy shooting down flying saucers and whatnot, but these junk fees have gotta go. Not a joke!" said Biden to the White House press corps. "It's getting to the point where you can't even let your grown son snort crack off the back of a Russian hooker at Best Western without getting nickel and dimed to death! How can I afford that?"
Sources confirmed the military is still shooting down random objects in the sky, with no word on whether they are aliens, Chinese spy balloons, or helium balloons from Party City. The Secretary of Defense has ordered all branches to continue knocking objects out of the sky indiscriminately until they are given word otherwise from the Commander in Chief.
"Our nation is facing many challenges right now, and you can always count on my administration to prioritize them appropriately," continued Biden. "And while we're at it, can we talk about how guacamole costs extra at Chipotle? How could we let that happen in America?"
At publishing time, Biden said once junk fees are taken care of he will turn his attention toward defeating Airbnb owners who make you do the laundry before checking out.
by Paul Joseph Watson
February 14th 2023, 4:35 am
"I wish it were aliens."
NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden says the hysteria over UFOs being shot down over America and Canada is a distraction from Seymour Hersh’s story about the U.S. being responsible for blowing up the Nord Stream pipelines.
The “object” shot down over Alaskan Airspace on Friday was a USAF “aerial target drone,” not a balloon or extraterrestrial spacecraft, sources in General Eric M. Smith’s office told Real Raw News.
The last week has seen a spate of so-called shootdowns of unidentified objects over North America. First, the regime claimed to have decommissioned a Chinese surveillance balloon after it traversed the entire country. Meanwhile, White Hats said a Deep State spy balloon monitoring militia activity in Montana was downed over billings, a claim substantiated by 50 witnesses who saw debris plummeting from the sky. Then, on Saturday, socialist Justin Trudeau claimed he had ordered a U.S. F-22 Raptor to engage a cylindrical object over the Canadian Yukon. And on Sunday the criminal John Kirby announced the destruction of yet another mysterious object, this time above Lake Huron.
Gen. Smith’s office had no comment on the Yukon or Huron incidents but said the object downed in Alaska was a USAF BQM-167A aerial target plane, a high-performance, remotely controlled target used to provide a threat-representative target drone to support the Air-to-Air Weapon System Evaluation Program and other Air Force and Department of Defense air-to-air test and evaluation programs. It is 20-feet-long, can reach speeds of 600 knots, perform 9g turns, and reach 50,000’ in altitude. The drone is land-launched using a rocket aided takeoff and launched from a rail system. The drone can be recovered by a parachute recovery system either from land or water. Its maximum range is 1,400 nautical miles.
Our source said the general’s office began investigating the incident almost immediately after the regime made it a matter of public record, because Biden’s cronies had been deceptive about using aerial surveillance to illegally spy on patriotic Americans. Moreover, Gen. Smith found it odd that a second shootdown occurred so soon after Biden was broadly criticized for delaying the destruction of whatever they downed near South Carolina.