Jesus Take the Wheel

I’ve battled and fought myself for years on the subject of am I ever going to meet someone? Just recently I did. He ended up being just like my ex boyfriend. I confronted him about it. He’s not one that likes confrontation. He punishes me by not talking to me for days on end.

So I did something different this time. I prayed. *Gasp*

And I blew the dust off the Word and read it.

God answered me in the most loving and non judgmental and direct way I could ever possibly hope for. It’s not working with this man because you’re doing it YOUR way again.

I wasn’t surprised by those words. I was encouraged. I have left God out of my life on numerous occasions. So this is my fault? You want me to APOLOGIZE?! Yep.

I took a very DEEP breath that would reach the other side of earth…that would suck up all the hot air of the Sahara and let it out. Okay Lord. I take full responsibility. His next words to me was you need to follow Me. Words He’s been telling me this whole time regarding a spouse. This time He was direct because I was in a crying rage and wanted answers. He answered me lovingly and with open arms.

So now what?

I’m supposed to see him Friday to work for him. He hired me to help him out but I haven’t heard from him all week. I told his other worker I’m just going to show up at his door and see what happens but he may fire me. What I told him was hurtful and rude. What God wanted me to know though was that this had nothing to do with him. This was about my DISOBEDIENCE.

So now I wait depending on God to salvage this relationship. I still want to be his friend but I’m not sure he wants to be mine now.

Guess I’ll just have to wait and see and trust God.

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Comments (25)

You want a wakeup call since nobody else wanna tell you?
You are not so pretty, even if you are pretty ok.
It's a mistake of you to have your better looking sister in a photo with you.
And osforth. You're also overweight making it not any better.

All this makes you less powerful with the guys.
Hence be careful in that fight cos you may read thing into thaing, while all along he just didn't fancy yu.


With those hard words over and done with, you are absolutely alright in the looks department, it's fine. And the weight you can work on. Your inner beuaty is unparralelled! Really a fab person!
Just be aware of what I just said when judging a situation.

Your friend, Oz
Yes Oz…I am aware. Thank you for your honesty. Actually other men have told me my looks need work so yeah…but few have told me I have a great personality so thanks for that. Actually he does think I do so maybe that’ll save me here. But ultimately I’m hoping God will because He’s in control here. Not my looks, personality or anything else. But yes, I hear you.
Wanna hear something funny now that you said I’m doing myself a disservice by having my sister in the photo? I had a man tell me do I get to pick who I date? I knew he meant that he wanted my sister. I didn’t reply. The truth is I don’t care if she’s better looking. I could change the way I look if I really wanted. I’m actually currently trying to. But having a better looking sister at the moment…I’m not bothered in the slightest nor am I jealous. I love her and that’s why I have her up on this site with me.
And no men she’s not on this site…I just meant she’s pictured with me. innocent
Feel free to give me some more advice Oz because like you this man is a capricorn. I liked him up until he started acting like my ex but if you feel that it’s my looks, I am working on it. Any other advice you have is greatly welcome. I really like capricorns actually. You could tell me how to make peace with him perhaps? Right now I am currently blocked on his phone so I have to wait for him to either contact me to tell me I’m fired or go into work for him to tell me I’m fired. Of course I am being a drama queen right now. He may very well just let me work but I don’t know how to emotionally approach him again. That’s why I’m trusting the Lord.
Okay Oz. I took my sister down. Not that I will find anyone on this site anyway but like I said before…I get what you’re saying. But even when I was better looking I didn’t find anyone either but as my mom always says…that doesn’t matter. You need to look your best always. I know, I know. With that said, I’m off to the gym! applause
Oh, I'll make it as short I can- and after that we can always go private... ;)
I been having this comment of mine in the back of my head today.
I was worried I might had been too hard,
but it's testimonial to your persona that you did not become defensive her, I salut that.
Also now I know I don't ever have to worry that you may not be aware in any situation,
cos your intelligence as way up there.

Other than workout I suggest finding a diet that consist of so much healthy roots, veggies and fruits
that you can not possibly eat too much of it. Some say meat is cool too (that made me happy to hear:)
+ watch your liquid too: a lot of tea, and some water with the famous lemon in it, that stuff.
On to the looks, I suggest when out n about wearing a light dose of makeup,
and dress as flattering as possible. Then the last one: make something hot-ish
out of your mermaid-hair always. Buns, hairbrides etc.
Whan all those things are in place wear your head high!
Cos as it says in the ad: you deserve it!

Regarding tips on some specific guy(s) we can do that behind the scenes maybe?
And I'll tell you all about my 'lady' problems too purple heart

I've just looked at your picture and you ARE pretty Mer bouquet
All you need is a little know how to enhance what you've already got....

As good as he is roll eyes

Jesus is not Lord of any vanity fair laugh
that ability is within your hand, just get your a** into gear comfort

Happy driving wine

Pssst. ) .eYe tried the pm... blocked.
Thanks for your comment. On the obituary..
Oh wow Oz. Thank you so much! I look forward to our PMs. Well we did some today already but I wanna hear about your women problems. You with women problems?!?! By the by…he actually asked me do you ever braid your hair? I told him no. I’m batting zero my friend. laugh My mom said just work on looking feminine that’s all. I can do that.

Next time I should say yes, I braid my hair and you’re gonna know first hand what it looks like!
laugh But yes I’m starting to pick up on the hints.

Celtic thanks so much for your kind words. There’s a hot girl waiting to emerge from underneath all this. laugh I actually had a man keep pictures of me when I was thinner. He said what happened to you. Look! I asked how did you get these photos?!?! He said that doesn’t matter. You need to go back to this.

I know. I’m trying. That’s all I know how to do. Not doing enough Whole Foods.

Oh sorry Bob. I’ll change my settings right now!

I talked to the boss man. He took everything so wonderfully. He wasn’t even bothered. I’m so glad I obeyed the Lord. Nothing ever goes wrong when I do that. ???? So we are friends now. Went to the Mexican circus together yesterday. We had a blast. applause wine wave
Oh geez sorry about the question marks. They were supposed to be a cross and a heart. help
I'd be very wary of that man who still has pictures of you uh oh
If you did get back to how he wants you, you could have a stalker on your hands, or worse.

Size isn't important once you don't squeeze into a smaller size, and at the same time, don't cover your size either.... just go shopping for a new wardrobe with cloths to compliment your curves.

G'night now, glad today worked out and you even had an enjoyable time wine
Celtic thank you but there’s no point in a full body shot on here if men don’t like my weight to begin with. Putting up a full body shot won’t help. Losing it will. Too bad that’s easier said than done. I’m still trying though. Also, I look big in new clothes as well as old ones.

I wish I was like my cat Rocky. Eats all day and stays slim. He’s still a kitten though at 7 months. That’s his secret. laugh
To people that are now emailing me not to listen to people online…I don’t care as much as you think I do. I’m happy. I mean I know that I still need to lose weight and there will always be a plethora of people to remind me of that until I do. It’s just human nature to pick out flaws. I had a blast yesterday with my boss. I thought I was going to be all alone and I thought he was really mad. So either it was all in my head or God did something in his heart because I prayed. Either way I was with someone I wanted to be with for St. Patrick’s Day. ?? And I pinched him because he had no green on. He said, “Ow”. ??

And he chose me to be with for the holiday. Usually men don’t do anything with me on holidays because they’d rather be with others so I felt special. Believe me I don’t stick around when men treat me like dirt. I do not. I’m sorry I gave that impression here.

I met him through Facebook. He friend requested me and I recognized him from an event I attend along time ago so I hit accept. We knew of each other but didn’t talk. He messaged me saying hey this might be presumptuous but I was kinda wondering if you wouldn’t mind going to the movies with me. He worded it in such a way that I couldn’t say no lol.
The question marks were a four leaf clover and a laugh respectively.
If men are emailing you because of this here blog?
their predators, so just ignore them..good luck
I'm sorry to be harsh here, but you're already ignoring red flags, you're already posting blogs about him.

It should be easy, no overthinking, no sulking for days.

Being on your own is so much better than this shit thumbs up
You’re not being harsh. That is actually an excellent point. Why am I blogging about it? I don’t like most men. I suppose that’s why I’m still single. They eventually anger me one way or another but I did have fun with him on St. Patrick’s Day.

Sometimes when I’m talking to him I feel like he wants to chew me out. I encourage him to tell me his true feelings but he won’t. My very first boyfriend was that way until he blew up at me and told me he’s done with me and he’s already found someone else so being closed off is a red flag for me. I still like him as a friend though.

Having said that instead of accusing me like he wants to he will blame himself and then his eyes tell me he’s angry with me. Which I don’t get that. I decided to take him at his word though because like someone told me here…you can’t make men do what you want. No, I can’t. But I can take myself out of the equation so to speak.
But I think like most women here. I just try to give men the benefit of the doubt and you guys say girl do not give him the benefit of the doubt. rolling on the floor laughing Love that.
It seems that you are unaware that some of the male comments regarding your outward appearance...are full of do not have to take that derogatory bull from are pretty and losing weight to please a man is crap...your health is yours alone...including dressing yourself...I wanted to comment earlier...but it is better than never...
I do not know what church you go to but beware of the ones that put the onus on women to behave in a certain manner and continually say that men are reacting to your disobedience...that is simply is another way to control do not need men or the church to have a relationship with God...Men do not have the right to treat others' poorly...and use religion as an excuse to behave badly...


Lol Celtic. The man who had my pics was a treasured man by me. He genuinely liked me and it flowed good with him. It didn’t work out because he told me look I don’t want any part of Jesus when I tried to share my faith with him. Funny thing is I ran into him years later and he apologized to me for that. He said sorry for saying that. I was young and haughty back then. He said I still feel the same about that though. So we parted ways. He’s harmless. He just loved the way I looked. Well I was 19 back then so of course there was nothing wrong with me lol. But he told me I would pick you out of a crowd of women. One of the best compliments I’ve ever received from a man.
Yes thanks Lou. Sometimes I need the truth beaten in my head. I’ve just heard the weight comments for years so I’m immune to it now. I am pretty. I myself don’t like my weight though. Then others say well why don’t you lose it then? I’m trying. That’s all I can say. I have acid reflux so sometimes Whole Foods aren’t enough to calm my stomach. I need something breaded and usually those foods are high in calories. I do take medication but my body gets used to it. Which is the downside. The only thing that works is making sure I’m drinking my water really. Which yes I don’t always do that either. It’s a daily struggle. Then people say it just sounds like you’re making excuses. Okay but if you had acid reflux then you would be a bit more empathetic I feel like. It’s not just a little heartburn that you can cure with tums. It’s a full blown medical condition. I know I can’t please everyone and I accept that.
I’m going to close this blog because I feel like we’re beating a dead horse now. Thanks all for your insights.
Meet the Author of this Blog
Mermaidhaironline today!


Fresno, California, USA

I am quiet but unique.
If we match…let’s meet and go from there.
People keep asking me what I’m looking for in a man. I’m looking for the right one. Lol. That’s obviously been trickier than I thought! [read more]

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created Mar 16
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Last Commented: Mar 19
Last Edited: Mar 19
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