A letter to my sister
I wrote this to my sister, whom died a year ago, on Sept. 5th. It is my way of dealing with the pain. It is in three parts....as it was too long to post in one piece....Dear Jeni,
I can’t believe it’s been a year. I guess time passes quickly when you are trying to forget. There is so much I want to tell you but I’ve kept it hidden for a year now and am afraid if I start telling you, I will explode into furry from the anger, guilt and frustration I have had to deal with over the past year. I think I’ve kept myself pretty well together, considering, but I know I need to tell you these things, even if it means opening the scars and allowing them to bleed.
I miss you. I miss your voice. I miss your smile. I miss having a sister to call for no reason at all than just to call and say “hello”. I miss your Donald Duck voice you always did so well. I miss you and I want you back. I want a “do over”. I want mom to smile again…although I doubt she will ever really smile again. All these things I miss and want are just wishes in the wind….there will be no “do over”….not now.
Comments (4)
First may I offer you my condolences, even though it was a year today that your sister passed away. Sometimes the it's good to vent your anger and frustration. Often there is no other way. And like you said you can't have her back and you can't do things over again. You have one shot at life and one shot only. You must keep your head up high and be brave not only for yourself but for your late sister. Fortunately I still have my siblings so I can't really imagine what you are going through. It is only natural to feel like you do and eventually as the years pass, missing her may never go away but you will feel less pain, anger, guilt and frustration.
I wish you well Icekrystal, for now and in the future.
Tiffanie
Time will make things better...just keep memories fresh in your mind...and she`ll be with you always....
Their job is not finished just because they left this world. They still guide you from the other dimension until they are uneeded anymore. As long as you need her, she will stay around.
I'm speaking from personal experience. Hope this gives you some consolation.
I feel your pain. I lost two sisters within 21/2 years of each other. They were 48 and 50. I want nothing more than to see them smile, or let them know how much I love and miss them. Then, one day I dreamt of my one sister and they both showed up in my dream. They told me they are very happy where they are. That it is wonderful there, and that they can see everyone. I was able to tell them that I loved them and missed them. It was a very comforting dream, but I think in reality, that they came to me in spirit and gave me what I needed to hear and see. This was over a period of time that they passed on, about 3 years after. It was the most comforting dream I ever had. I hope your sister will come to you and tell you all her thoughts and feelings. Don't give up hope!
With warm regard,
bellaitaliana