Feeling Ripped Off

It has been fourteen days since I started following the regimen of supplements and herbal treatments 'analysis' of my blood suggested. I have also been eating diligently according to instructions. No red meat, low fat, low carbohydrate, lots of fresh vegetables and enough fish to generate scales.

No cake, no bread, no buttermilk biscuits, yeast being the big bad boy of cuisine for this protocol - remember when eggs were evil? - and I am ravenously hungry all the time. Worst of all I am gaining weight. This I know because my clothes are getting tight.

I have kept a strict intake diary over the last fourteen days because, like everything I do, this is material I will use in my radio show. I have averaged between 900 to 1200 calories per day of food and drink - strangely enough none of the many (and I mean MANY) supplements I am obediently gulping down have a caloric value on the bottles- a cut of about 600 to 800 calories per day over my usual eating style. Even calculated at the lowest level I should be losing weight, not gaining.

I am not a happy camper. Further, they promised I would feel quite unwell as the supplements started to do their job, a healing crisis, something I have experienced in the past where first you feel worse and then you feel amazingly well. Not this time! I feel the same. Tired, burnt out, adrenals drained to the max, no worse and certainly no better.

I have lived my whole life burning the candle at both ends and in the middle. Occasionally I crash and do absolutely nothing without a qualm. The perfect vacation for me would be at a spa where I do nothing except report to various rooms for massage and pampering and the most strenuous effort I make is to keep my muscles relaxed as a physical therapist manipulates my joints.

I have it in me to be utterly, luxuriously lazy. Which is, in a way, why I am so driven most of the time. Self-knowledge is a whip wielded by an unforgiving hand most of the time. So, I have decided to give this regimen one more week, bringing it to twenty one days, and if there is no change at all by then I shall start agitating. I have already reported my unhappy state to the clinic and in a week I shall be upgraded from mere unhappiness to misery and anger, especially if the weight gain continues.

I have not had a temper tantrum for at least forty years but I am sure I remember how it goes. In fact, adding all the elements together, no change except weight gain and a gravely depleted wallet, I can probably surpass my youthful angst to a degree where they think the wrath of heaven has been unleashed . Just the thought of it is making me feel better!