Loving the wrong man..a GAY guy...pt 1

What would you do if you fall for the wrong man.. And knew that he would never make you happy but with the fact that you know somehow the feeling is not easy to fade away, as he is the man you always wanted in life..

I fell deep in love 4 years ago with a man. The man whom I always wanted and wish for.. Unfortunately He is gay. I used to love him alot back then. I met him thru his step-brother (which is my fling) I wouldnt say his stepbrother is my ex boyfriend as we were together for less than a month. So yea, I knew this gay when I was 19. He is 25 back then.

Fell in love with him by accident as we spent too much time together..We see each other almost everyday..and one day it just happen that I fell in love with him unconditionally. He was always there for me as a friend, during my ups and downs. If i am unhappy due to friends, or work, he would try his best to make me happy and I fall for him deeper and deeper each time. He's the man who gives all he can as a friend and does not ask anything in return from me... We never once had sex. It is a pure friendship thing, but it was me who had the confusion of him loving me. Of course we could have or would but we just didn't.

So as times goes by,the love grew more and more and things got complicated. he got a new job in Singapore 2 years back. He moved to Singapore and from there I've been going to singapore whenever he's free. At least once a month.. Yet, there was no sex involve..NEVER. Maybe because knowing the fact that he is gay, we never once try to initiate for sex.

Last year I quit my job end of April, went to Melb for holiday with mum on May as it was her 50th birthday present i gave her to see her best friend in Australia and it was mother's day. Then I moved to singapore late May to look for a job and stayed with him after my holiday with mum..

Unfortunately, things turn out to be very ugly. I was mentally tortured as I went there with the hope that he would fall for me, but i was mistaken by his action. His action was plainly helping a best friend in need. Apparently he told me that he loves me, but only as a friend nothing more than that. I asked myself what wrong have I done to deserve such treatment from him.

He asked me to stay with him, same house, same room,same bed, same pillow sometimes, yet i am not the special one to him and I am not allowed to even hug him or kiss him or anything. Basically no physical contacts.

Cont... Part 2...dancing
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created Jun 2010
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