a sip of vodka

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the Monsignor how he had done it.
The Monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous I take a sip."
So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink, he proceeded to talk up a storm.
Upon return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on his door:
1.) Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.
2.) There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3.) There are 12 Disciples, not 10
4.) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated
5.) Jacob wagered his donkey, he id not bet his a**.
6.) We don refer Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7.) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior, and the spook.
8.) David slew Goliath; he did not kick the shit out of him.
9.) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his a**.
10.) We do not refer to the cros as the 'Big T.'
11.) When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said; "take this and eat it, for this is my body.." He did not say; "Eat me."
12.) The Virgin Mary is not called 'Mary with the cherry.'
13.) The recomended grace before a meal is not "rub-a-dub-dub thanks for the grub, yeah God."
14.) Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's not a Peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.

I thought this was funny. Teaches you a lesson, to sip not gulp.
I only have a drink every now and then and when I do, I nurse my drinks. I'm a sipper. There is just something about the burn of the alcohol that doesn't set well with me as it slides down my esophogus.
Have a happy Sunday tomorrow; and may God bless.

laugh laugh angel
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Comments (4)

laugh laugh laugh Too much sippy make him tippy? Too much Vodka lose your grippy.
Yes perhaps too much sippy make him tippy. He may have been fasting before he came out broadcasting. Lesson learned....
That was actually pretty funny.cheers
Glad you liked it mike. So did that ease the frustrated part of your night? Have a good week.
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