A part of me
A part of me will always feel this deep and utter loss. A part of me will never heal, for it is deadened by pain and grief. I was only a child, growing into a woman, when I was told my mother had passed away.My birthdays have never been the same, for she died 10 days before I turned 18. A part of me died that day along with her. I felt cheated, angered, nobody understood. My dad never expressed emotion and would always be sure we would never do the same. Everytime I would get emotional I would run to my room, as to not show my tears.
Emotions are a part of who I am, it expresses my true self. For deep within I have this desire to have a family, but would never cross the boundries, nor have I found a willing partner willing to wait and respect me for who I am and what I stand for.
I often tell others to be thankfull if they are fortunate to still have their mothers or fathers around. I still have my dad and thank God everyday. My dad was never into saying I love you, so I don't express it with him as if I would if my mom were still around. I often tell her I love her and miss her when I am feeling sad and alone.
She will always live within my heart, but I need to learn to let part of her go so I can move on with my life. She knows the desires of my heart, and I know she is looking down upon me now and smiling. If she could talk to me I know she would tell me everything is going to be just fine, and the best is yet to come so await for it's arrival for your miricle is soon to be.
Lots of love and goodnight to all, and may you have a blessed week ahead.
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