Turns out, he was cheating Chapter 2 (Dedicated t

Chapter 2
Mike3478, this is dedicated to you!
Saturday came along, although I don’t remember anything of those 4 days. I know I spoke with an MS specialist counsellor. So did he. We made an appointment

I was closing down my Facebook account, & mistakenly logged into his. There was a email for him from my youngest sister. It was a letter that he had written, but forwarded by my sister to the woman he had been having the online affair with. It was telling her he would not be in contact anymore as he 'was going to TRY and work on his marriage! My sisters had sprung him, I dont know how. They tore strips off him, made him handover all his logins & passwords, & made him write the letter, sending it after their approval. The letter was dated Thursday at 2.00am.
I heard nothing about it. Although they were incredibly pissed off, they reluctantly agreed to let David tell me himself, & he wanted to deliver that news at our 1st marriage counselling session.
Our appointment was for 2 weeks down the track. I found out anyway,

I was talking to my family again, who were so, so sorry, but I didn't really feel that I could trust them.
He had destroyed my trust in him but nearly destroyed my trust in my own family.
I later discovered that this particular internet affair was initiated by a friend of my sister, & she pursued him on Facebook after seeing him from a distance, while driving past our house! She was a serial married man stalker.

We went marriage counselling. Things were seemingly going OK with David. He admited he had made up my 'slavery' to make himself seem less to blame. He wrote a letter to my mother.
We agreed to leave family out of our problems from there on.
We had made some positive steps to healing the hurt & addressing the reasons why this had happened again.
I wanted to try and heal our marriage if we could, because not only was he my husband of 10 yrs he had also been my best friend.

Sadly, an internet cheater looking for an escape or addicts fix will go anywhere online to get their 'chat' stroked! Despite him saying to the counsellor's face that he was staying away from chat rooms and the temptations until he could work out why it was a problem for him, he went back in.

2 wks later on a Saturday, I was going to go out garage sale-ing, and went to the computer to download a road map.
The screensaver flicked off, and up pops an open msn window of a chat between David and another woman called BBWGoddess something. She was pronouncing her love for him and how she could not wait until he got up there to see her.
He had done it again, and this time during marriage counselling.
I had already made that appointment with my GP for the following Monday.

I confronted him. He immediately became angry and defensive. He told me she did not know he was married and he had not intention of telling her.
He said we were was over, and he wanted a divorce.
Right!!! I was [email protected]#king furious!
He was leaving me for another woman who he's never met or spoken to on other side of world after a 2 week chat romance.
(After that last counselling session, where I had said that perhaps if I had not gotten MS, then we may not be married, because before MS, I was a driven, OCD perfectionist who did not give 2nd chances back then, he got angry and deliberately went back to the net. He only heard from that comment that I thought I was too good for him and only stayed because I had MS. Not what had been intended. Not that MS had made me a better person in some ways. More easy going, more compassionate, more forgiving, more generous. I was an uppity b*tch at 24 and would have been a CEO of somewhere huge, and on a completely different path than him.)
He said some really horrible things, packed up his computer, and his clothes, and moved to his fathers house.

I was mad as hell. The time before, I was devastated. This time I was bloody furious.
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Comments (2)

First of all you sympathize with him like he was a victim; those darn serial married stalkers; LOL; omg; all he had to do is say no.

Also your sisters FRIEND was going after him; I would trust her as much as your husband.

Obviously he isn't into being married; he's not into it and he wasn't going to stay loyal.

Women do this all the time; they spill their guts of their relationships to their friends, siblings and family and pretty soon it's a mess. The relationship is between you and him, not him and everyone you are associated with. You end up trusting information to a sister that has some pretty bad friends.

Remember YOU CHOSE HIM? No one put a gun to your head and picked this guy for you. You are the one that said I do.

If it were me;

1. Stop being such an open book about the relationship; your family needs to not get involved especially your sister.

2. Figure out why you chose this guy; so many women say,"it happened all of a sudden". No it didnt'. He was always that way; you just chose not to see it.

3. Find out what you can do better as a person, and choose a better person.

Good luck.
MJames actually has some really sound advice IMHO. This same thing happened to me and also ended my marriage of 9 years... 10 years ago. He hooked up in some chat room (before internet relationships were really heard of yet) w/ several women actually who played on his ego. I tried letting reality sink in as to what he was really giving up, (our marriage and two very young children), and all for someone he really wouldn't know on the street. Several months later, he professed he just didn't know how to break up with her. ??? I went and filed for divorce the next day. My divorce attorney was shocked at such a reason to divorce, but since it was uncontested, he advised me of my best strategy. The day of the divorce, in the judges chambers, the judge was also completely shocked that a man was leaving his marriage for virtual strangers. He immediately signed the papers, and said, "That man is a FOOL!"

My ex's just reward truly came when his so called true internet love, found out I filed for divorce, and promptly dumped him. Of course, he then wanted the marriage back. No way, he had his chance.

10 years later, I can tell you this man has not changed. He is the father of my children, and thus remained in our lives, but he is just as "lost" today in his relationship quests as he was back then. He continues to cheat in EVERY relationship he has and never stays with any of these women more than a few months. The lesson in this, these type of men never change. When someone shows you their true colors...believe them.

Best wishes to you.
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