Vanity Fair and City III (57)

I got a phone call. A girl shouted at me: “Listen! I am younger than you, more beautiful than you, he will only choose me! He is mine!”

Then she hung up the phone. I wondered if I was in some dreams when sleeping. But later I found it quite funny when staring at the phone number. That younger girl---If she is really younger than me---must dial the wrong number. Oh no. She makes a mistake even when she is challenging her rival in love!

I decided to call back. “Hey younger girl, how old are you?”

“You dare call back? Listen old lady, every man likes young girl, so don’t expect he will choose you. You are even several months older than him!” the younger girl shouted.

“How old are you?” I asked again.

“18. See, envy?”

I laughed. When I was 18, what did I do? Shouldn’t a girl at 18 study at school, rather than striving for a man with an “old lady”?

I found it quite fun and decided to pretend as her rival in love. “Wow… When I met him at 15, where were you, young girl? When we studied in the same classroom together, where were you, young girl? When we encouraged each other after a terrible exam, where were you, young girl? When we went through some important moments in life, such as college entrance examination, such as looking for a job when graduating, where were you, young girl? Yes, I am several months older than him, but so what? We have gone through so much sweet and bitter together for such a long time, and where were you in those times, 18-year-old younger girl?”

And then, she hung up the phone suddenly.

Yes, being young is an important and invisible property. At a time when families are broken out because the husbands have some young mistresses or some young girls seduce the husbands, being young is really a double-edged sword.

But being young is not always unbeatable. Human’s heart is made of flesh and blood. It can feel, it can be touched, it can remember what has happened in the past---The later one can not always replace the former one in those past times.

I said a lot to that younger girl. I didn’t say them based on nothing. I said them based on my 18-year days. Though I do think girls at 18 should focus on study, I still feel that, at least, she will have no regret in the future.

But what did I do at 18? Yes, from the outside, people will think I should have no regret about my past: studied hard at 18, went to a good university, found a good job… That’s what a good girl should do. However, what about my love?

At 18, I always thought that I would still have plenty of time ahead to find my love back, so I abandoned my first love and devoted myself to study. Later, I went to university, for some reasons, I didn’t go to find it back, still thought that I would have plenty of time ahead which allowed me to find it back, find him back… until now, I suddenly realize, both of us have begun our own separate new life in different cities. Distance between cities is really not a problem, however, distance between hearts matters a lot.

My biggest mistake is that, I always thought that I still had plenty of time ahead to find something back… So I keep losing the chances… But the fact is, nobody can really go back. I have lost something before, and will lose it forever.