Finding The Meaning of Me AgainOk, now a lot of messages I receive on here are of unbelief why I'm even on this site. Allow me to enlighten everyone please for a moment. I at one point was in a "commited" relationship that lasted a year and a half. Yes I said committed but just recently come to terms that it was only a one person relationship. He cheated on me mentally with someone who claimed she was my friend. She is who I refer to as a pinto (the car pinto). Long story cut down to size..... he fell in love with this pinto and chose the playboy channel over me. I was blinded by 5he concept that he lost his son the "exact" same way I lost mine so who else to better understand than someone who's been down the very same road.
During my relationship with the cheater, I had a breakthrough. After being belittled, downgraded, and ignored, I realized that I didn't have to take that crap anymore. When he pushed me into our kitchen sink so hard, I slapped him in self defense. Not thinking anything more about it, he then drew his hand back as far as he could and open handed me in my face. I was told I looked like a whore in the outfit I had on that day (the photo on my profile shows the outfit) . I was just tired of it all. Mainly of his behavior in front of two of my children. Tired of him throwing things, forcing locked doors open, drunken moments which occured most of the time. But also and moreso tired of not being cherished and loved like I deserved.
When I love, its all or nothing, no halfway.
I then decided that is rather love someone and leave having a broken heart than stay in a bad relationship where the partner has no love for me.
As I told him, "I love you, but I love me more"
So I'm finding me again, its what I deserve.