Things You’ll Never Hear a Dad Say
#10. Well, how ’bout that?... I’m lost! Looks like we’ll have to stop and ask for directions.#9. You know Pumpkin, now that you’re thirteen, you’ll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won’t that be fun?
#8. I noticed that all your friends have a certain “up yours” attitude.... I like that.
#7. Here’s a credit card and the keys to my new car—go crazy.
#6. What do you mean you wanna play football? Figure skating not good enough for you, son?
#5. Your Mother and I are going away for the weekend... you might want to consider throwing a party.
#4. Well, I don’t know what’s wrong with your car. Probably one of those doo-hickey thingies—you know—that makes it run or something. Just have it towed to a mechanic and pay whatever he asks.
#3. No son of mine is going to live under this roof without an earring—now quit your belly-aching, and let’s go to the mall.
#2. Whaddya wanna go and get a job for? I make plenty of money for you to spend.
And the number one thing you’ll never hear a dad say...
Father’s Day? Ahh—don’t worry about that—it’s no big deal.
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