Settling versus The OneI've often wrestled with if it's better to wait a long time alone hoping to find The One or is it better to enjoy the company of somebody that can enhance your life even though they might not be eveything you were hoping to find?
If you actually did find your perfect match it would certainly go along way towards erasing the loneliness you experienced in the waiting, but at what price? Plus, what if you never find The One? I certainly don't want to be on my death bed looking back on a life of might-have-beens because I chose to abstain from relationships that might have not been optimal, but were never given a chance to grow and blossom.
So on the other hand we have what a lot of people view as Settling. Choosing to enter a relationship that has flaws to not be alone. Loneliness is a heavy burden and can lead to out right depression. Is not being alone reason enough to accept some flaws in a partner that you'd ideally rather not have to? When discussing this with others it has been pointed out that if only one partner is Settling then it may be unfair to the other because it is like one person is using the other.
In my life I've certainly been out with people where I've told myself, "This isn't gonna work." Sometimes you stayed too long because of the sex or to avoid being alone. Still, in my most important relationships I went in head first and they certainly seemed like they were the relationship to end all relationships. The search was over. Well, here I am on OK Cupid so you know they didn't work out quite the way I had intended.
Even so, all my major loves made my life better, though some might have left a bitter taste in my mouth and left me emotionally wrecked I still walked away a changed person. And for the most part those changes were to my long term benefit as well as the benefit of others I might meet along the way.
So, I guess for me I'd rather have someone filling my day with laughter and memories than trying to go it alone with nothing, but emptiness. I see a lot of profiles on this site were they refuse to Settle again and only want the perfect guy for them - The One. There is nothing wrong with having goals and dreams. That is certainly something worthwhile to aspire to. I, on the other hand, being in my 40's and chubby, having put aside my pride and ego to be on an online dating site, would rather look for someone to spend time with now instead of waiting on a mythical lady that may not exist.
I can survive alone in this world if I have to, but the things that give me enjoyment mean so much more to me when I can share them with someone else. Why snuff out all possibilty of happiness? Give a relationship with flaws a chance to be nurtured and grow. We, as humans often can't see the forest for the trees. Maybe it's possible to find a diamond in the rough. Maybe The One was right there in front of me all along, but I was afraid of Settling and lost my chance. Well, I'm tired of being alone. I'm willing to give someone a chance if they'll give me one.
See what being alone does? Gives my thoughts too much time to ramble. LOL!