WX: His Parents
Last night we went to MM’s new home, to celebrate she and her boyfriend move to their own house. Yes, their own house. Her boyfriend is only 24 but is capable enough to afford his own house. Very expensive.Since all of the rest still rent houses to live, we feel so happy to see that our friend can live at their own house. Wow MM is so lucky. Her boyfriend is young, handsome and capable. All the girls admire at her fortune.
But their house is those multiple, single apartments, which means that it only suits two adults, or a little baby. QQ asked whether her boyfriend’s parents would live with them. Her boyfriend shook his head and said no.
It didn’t surprise me very much. Nowadays people do not like to provide for their parents, and some people want to but they don’t have this ability.
The young people like to talk about their lovers. The middle-age people like to talk about their children. Who will talk about their parents. Before, in the old time, people were much poorer, but they cared about their parents very much. And the family was bigger, with 3 or 4 generations living together. Grand-grandparents, grandparents, parents, children. They respected and took care of the old and brought up the young. Now the family become smaller and smaller, as young people do not like to live with their parents. So their parents live alone with their own skinny shadow at the age of 80.
Some young people can not support their parents. A research shows that 80% of the 1980s generation can not support their parents due to the lower-and-lower salary, the higher-and-higher product cost and housing price. We feel that we are cheated by some liars. Most of our parents are farmers or workers who do not get much education. But when we were kids, they were told that education would give their kids a bright future. So no matter how harsh life was, they sent their children to schools, to universities to get better education, in the hope that their children could have a good future and could support them in return when they become old… Now the joke is, yes, we get better education, but we become the generation which can not support our parents.
Louis Cha defined his understanding about the parents-children relationship very well in his novel “Heavenly Sword and Dragon Saber”. Not only limit it to the parents Zhang Cuishan, Yin Susu and their son Zhang Wuji, but also expand it to the old teacher Zhang Sanfeng and his seven students. Zhang Sanfeng cares about his seven students like a father, and his seven students respect him. What move the readers is exactly this father-and-son-like emotion and friendship. I think it will make many people feel ashamed and guilty nowadays.
In the coming years, China will become very poor (though some westeners always exaggerate that China is rising.) If I will become a beggar in the future, I will beg whatever I can beg from whoever I can meet, for my parents. In the future, they will only become older and older, and finally, they become my own children who need my care, my support and my protection.
That is why some boys do not like those girls who care about her parents very much, as they consider her parents, even his own parents, as a heavy burden.
Comments (6)
There's many reasons why this is so... and it's unfair to point fingers and blame individuals. I guess these people are just the poor unfortunates caught up in 21st century living.
I used to do a bit of occasional work in nursing homes and I've gotta say they are the most depressing of places. But sometimes old people can no longer look after themselves and it's impossible to care for them at home 24 hours a day.
My own mother has mentioned in the past that she'd rather I shoot her than put her in a home. Fortunately it hasn't come to that. At 78 she's still got a lot of living to do and ain't got no intention of waiting around for the inevitable.
Parents brought up children and in return, when the children grew up, they took care of their old parents.. this has been existing in my country for thousands of years. And before, it was very common to see that in a big family lived grand-grandparents, grandparents, parents and children. Yes, maybe in some’s eyes, it is a heavy burden. I can understand. But, the old’s today is the young’s tomorrom. If we abondan the old, then when we become old, we will be abondaned by the younger.
In 1980 my grandparents were still living with their three sons. They spent their last years with their sons in several simple houses. Later they died with their sons and daughters holding their hands. This is the thing my dad told me.
And my another grandfather (mom’s dad) is 82 year now, living in Hong Kong. My uncle's sons are doing business and building their family in North America and my uncle can immigrate there to be with his sons too. But my uncle chooses to stay in HK to take care of my grandfather.
Things should be like this. It has been existing for thousands of generations. But now things change. Guess, how miseable it will be if an old man is driven out of his children’s home by his beloved children. When his children were still kids, the old man must love them with whole hearts.
Driven to where? What becomes of them?
perhaps this is a little common in your country or other countries, as you said there are many single lonely old people in your area. but this is not normal in China. this phenomenon occur in a large number only in recently years. media report them. yea, though the media is
the media use "empty nest" or "void nest" to describe the more and more old people who are left and forgetten by their children once they grow up. for thoussands of generations, when people become old, they will live with their children, grandchildren in China. this is a tradition. but it changes now. perhaps you can not understand it easily, because our culture background is a little different.
do you know the crow? it is their habit for the adult crow to take care of their old crow mother. when the crow is young, its mother feed it kindly. and when the little crow grow up and its mother becomes old, unable to fly to find food, the grown-up crow will feed its weak old mother in return. it is true.