Nightshift MADNESS (I do it for them)

What a loooonnnnng night shift it was tonight!

But not boring by any means. This is what I get paid 10 bucks an hour for....and please.......no laughing. This IS my real job.
~~~~

I'm asked "Could you please clean the bathrooms?" ~ and before I clean them 2 people want to USE them.
~~~~

"Tu eres muy hermosa. Como te llama?" ~hit on by a drunken spanish speaking man who went on to say his girlfriend is very ugly but I am so beautiful.
~~~~


Man runs (literally runs) in an steals a bottle of Bicardi rum (19.00) and runs out.
~~~~

Lunch time~1:30 a.m. spent eating hot pockets, almond joy and Coca Cola. My coworker tries to hook me up via cell phone to someone who lives 7 hours away. The upside is now she's friendly and only calls me "crack head" twice the whole shift. But Oh wait, now she calls me "b*tch". Kinda like in a friendly sisterly type way. I'll never understand New Yorkers.
~~~~

Conversation between my self and a customer at 1 am: (I'm not kidding)
she looks like she weighs approx 400 pounds, has a tattoo on her neck and possibly just got paroled from prison.

Her: Hey_______________ that's my name too!

Me: Wow really, I guess we're both cool then. (just trying to make small talk)

Her: What sign are you?

Me: Pisces.

Her: Damn you suck! I'm Sagittarius
~~~~~~~~~~
So you see? I suck and I'm a crackhead, and I've only been working there a week. Wow, I guess single parenthood is really worth 10 bucks an hour.


It's 5 a.m. and a REALLY HOT man walks in from 24 hour Fitness Center after his work out. His shirt is wet with sweat and his rock hard calves are tan and wet also. (my only high point of the shift)

Finally at 5:30 the shift supervisor is replaced by another . I am asked to chase down all the runaway helium balloons which are floating near the ceiling. The balloons escaped their wire corral and now need to be rounded up with a long stick with tape all over the end of it.

I spend 10 minutes chasing down ONE spongebob balloon I'm dizzy, tired, over caffeinated, and my back hurts. Still I limp up to the front with several baloons needing more air.

The final blow? Next week I am on the schedule for 6 nights of this madness.