TO MY DEAR WIFE: I have tried to make love to you

TO MY DEAR WIFE:

During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times. I have
succeeded 36 times,which is an average of once every ten days. The following
is a list of why I did not succeed more often:

54 times the sheets were clean
17 times it was too late
49 times you were too tired
20 times it was too hot
15 times you pretended to be asleep
22 times you had a headache
17 times you were afraid of waking the baby
16 times you said you were too sore
12 times it was the wrong time of the month
19 times you had to get up early
9 times you said weren't in the mood
7 times you were sunburned
6 times you were watching the late show
5 times you didn't want to muss your new hair-do
3 times you said the neighbors would hear us
9 times you said your mother would hear us

Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not satisfactory because 6
times you just layed there, 8 times you reminded me there's a crack in the
ceiling, 4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with, 7 times I had
to wake you and tell you I finished, and one time I was afraid I had hurt you
because I felt you move.

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Comments (12)

Hahahahahah OMG .. What A List !!! LOOL
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing

Swan
rolling on the floor laughing
feels to me you've some serious work to do.. becoming the best lover there's - that would make her forget everything else and getting her engaged
com on paw ur not serious ur killing engagementhug
remember they are more than that that they ar or angelsangel
and yes: live to engagement wether we like it or not peace
especially when she wants yay
5 bucks for an old anecdote :)
that was popular in the 70's...
this joke definitely made my day lol
Hahaa, this deserves to come back laugh
wouldn't wonder every night sounds like a machine you wants with legs and other bits ha ha
Obviously a log book in the bedside table, how clinical. Never had these issues myself.
Maybe the problem was the little scorecard ... OCD imogrin
Totally agree with you Biff, definitely one worth bringing back thumbs up

hopefully he has since become very successful wine
Oohhh... what a sweet man. purple heart
Regardless what happened, he still called his wife DEAR .. grin
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Meet the Author of this Blog
shahper

shahper

Islamabad, Pakistan

I am a pure Romantic and Loving who always believed that I was destined to meet the woman I was meant for and all I needed to do was wait. So I never went out on dates, but just waited. I believed in destiny, but now that is realistic. For most of my [read more]