Can Women Really Get Laid Whenever They Want?

"There is such a thing as being unf*ckable and female," writes Jessa Crispin. It's a shocking statement, but it also brings up an issue we don't often discuss: what it's like to be not sexually desired, but sexually devalued.

In her review of two books on s*xual politics (King Kong Theory by Virginie Despentes and Baba Yaga Laid an Egg by Dubravka Ugresic), Crispin writes of the "lie, which you will hear from your male friends, that a woman can get laid whenever she wants." She explains,

This is meant to be comforting, I think. A woman permits and denies access to sex, and all she has to do is want it bad enough. Bad enough to make the effort, of course. One can't just have a line of men appear on your doorstep just by trying to attract them all The Secret-like, although Craigslist can come in handy for that. But it, too, is a lie. There is such a thing as being unf*ckable and female, whether because of weight or lack of femininity or age or poverty or that desperation you start to emit in waves after a few years without anyone trying to get into a dark corner. Because if you are unf*ckable - and let's use the right word here - if you are a hag, you have no voice.

Of course, "a woman can get laid whenever she wants" is the opposite of comforting, because it blames any s*xual frustration on a woman's choosiness. The thinking goes that if a woman could walk into a bar and persuade someone in it to have sex with her, but does not, her standards must be too high. This argument has lots of problems (not least of which being personal safety), but Crispin claims it's based on a false premise: not all women can get laid anytime, and to be the exception to this supposed "rule" is to suffer a particular kind of marginalization.

Complaining about unwanted male attention is a major part of female culture, especially among the young. Often this attention crosses the line from annoying to disturbing and even dangerous, and often it has little to with sex (the guy catcalling women in parkas in the middle of February is likely more marking his territory than he is appreciating their bodies). But what doesn't really get discussed amidst (often quite justified) rants about men invading our space is that women who don't conform to particular beauty standards often get a different kind of unwanted attention — mockery, scorn, slurs, or the suggestion that they shouldn't show their nonconforming faces or bodies at all.
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Comments (6)

People to succeed in attracting significant others for physical intimacy have the personal responsibility to do everything in their power to look appealing. Weight problems, clothing apparel, personal hygiene, personality issues, self esteem all contribute to an appealing or non appealing makeup. Individuals who don't do their homework prior to final exam day are going to fail the course no matter how much they push their restrictive merits upon a non forgiving instructor.
which one in your photos is you?
Which one you like??
if all the boys lived over the sea what good swimmers all of us women would be. Who cares all the guys in the photo are hot hot hot, smoking!teddybear
if it is about hookers, then cash will do the trick for simple minded ronantcs lie through yur teeth and you willget laid, or make a drunk ans she willnod her head up and downdancing
Hmm interesting reading over breakfast coffee & toast
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