Guys, you need help with your Profiles

I am new to on line dating, less than 2 weeks. And I see a major problem already.

You guys have no clue on how to market yourselves.

So, let me give you a little advice.

The first thing anyone looks at is the picture. SMILE! Or laugh. Most of these pictures look like mug shots. Are you all in pain? The off center pictures where you were sitting in front of the computer, realized you needed a picture and whipped out your camera phone? The one you took of yourself at 2am? Really? You don't have ANY other pictures than that? And recent pictures only, taken in the last 6 months, unless you date them when you post them. If you really, really don't have any pictures of yourself, Walmart has a photography studio. Make use of it. But candid shots are better.

There is nothing wrong with a close up face shot. But you should include at least one more picture, preferably a body shot. (this does NOT mean nude). Outdoor pics are always good. Show the ladies you can have fun! Do you bike, swim, boat? Do you sing, dance, draw? Do magic tricks? Dress up for Halloween? Make Ballon Animals? Cook? And really, we know you are proud of the big mouth bass you caught last year, but that should not be your profile picture. Nor do you need to post 23 pictures of your Bentley, or yacht. Especially if you are not in the pictures.

Now, as to your profile itself. FILL IT OUT HONESTLY. All the way. Write something about yourself. Guys, we are women. We like to talk. If you can't fill out a profile, you probably can't carry on a conversation. We are also curious. We like to know about our men. If you are 5'6", don't say you are 5'9'. Don't say Athletic when the most exercise you have gotten is cheering for your team from the couch. If you meet someone, they will know you lied, and wonder what else you lied about.

I know not everyone can write humorously, but if you can that is always a bonus. But Write Intelligently. Proof read. Spell check. Make Coherent Sentences. (Not a bunch of sentence fragments like I just did.) Filling out the bare minimum of the questionnaire, without a description of who you are and what you are looking for, will rate you a fast delete from my inbox. So will a profile without a picture.

Fellas, when you email a lady, be creative! I can't count the number of "Hi, how are you?" emails I have gotten. You can't say anything else? Comment on her picture, or her profile, or the weather! Anything but "Hi how are you?" The other one I get all the time is "I liked your profile. Contact me at (insert yahoo ID here)." Slow down there Sparky. Let's exchange a few emails first. If I like how the conversation is going, then maybe I'll give you my Yahoo ID. But I want to make sure you are interesting to me before I do that.

Guys, I know you can do this. Just a little thought and time is all it takes. Come on, impress me! Make me Proud!
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Comments (17)

TLDR sorry
Dito,same problem from the women..
elizkat, I agree with you! And I hope some women read this as well. A lot of woman's profiles could use some help as well. If they don't have a pic, they had better tell about them selves and not about their past history, they will be deleted from me.
Oh I agree! I really should have addressed this to everyone, but hey, I look at the guy profiles. Call me crazy, but I like men.
I know not everyone is articulate, or can get the message across when they are typing, but you can put out the basic info and let people interpret it as they will. "I'm 49, single and I don't like pink shirts." Look at that! Information.
Thanks for reading my blog. I feel special now.

Yes, a spell checker is required isn't it? wink laugh

It's confident.

A confidant is one to whom secrets are entrusted...but I am sure you know that.

My point is, a spell checker is NOT always the best option.
hi Elizkat

your blog was well written, unfortunatly you go on about proof reading your profiles and checking your spelling

i dont mean to be funny but i think you need to practise what you preach as i have noticed a few grammer mistakes and spelling mistakes on your profile

i dont believe anyone has the perfect profile as noone is perfect, i do however agree with you that people should put a photo up of themselves but not always being a smiley smiley photo, what if they dont smile alot ? my dad does not smile alot and if i saw him on this kind of sight with a grin from ear to ear it would most certainly be giving a false impression of him, not meaning my dad is a misery but he has the attitude that you cant walk around with a permanent fixed smile on your face

Ah well.. we're human afterall and prone to mistakes now and again. Now I understand how travelling sales men get all the women as they know how to market themselves. But then again I don't think the human being should be for marketing and as a result some of us will never be (or want to be) sales men.
billy you are sooo right, i would rather come across a natural profile whether it be crammed full of photos and loads of detail about themselve or just the minium detail and the one photo,
in one respect the less detail the more you have to find out,

in the time when we used to meet out in pubs we never came with a profile wrapped around our necks for all to read lol

i think we are who we are and our profiles show that so if you dont like a profile then dont message them, as simple as that, like you cant change a person you cant change how someone comes across by the way they have put words on a screen, yes we can advice if they want advice, after all thats what the profile reviews are for

good luck to everyone teddybear
I like all your suggestions- Excellently worded.

I would caution a guy to add Yahoo ID on their first few emails, due to the high number of scammers that do the same.
But most scammers never metion a person's name, they usually start with hi dear, or something similar.

rolling on the floor laughing I agree with your post op and also you forgot about the guys who are unrealistic in the fact they are 50 something and looking for girls 18-30? especially when the guy is barely able to support himself and his photos look like he just got out of bed and lives off of dunkin doughnuts. no exercise,
Hello you are fantastic and have this really sorted out so when are you going to rewrite mine for me !?? I need all the help I can get.
Well duh, were not smiling because we don't have girlfriends. laugh

Long profiles don't work, they just scare people away.
I love your post! I haven't been on the site that long, but I also noticed these profile goofs.

As for long profiles scaring off people, I suppose it would scare off people with short attention spans. Long profiles don't scare me off. I actually read them when I get a message from such a guy. Content is more important than length in this case. peace

And I am also getting really annoyed by the mails immediately asking to chat via yahoo or msn, sometimes with manipulative tricks to pressure me into doing that asap. Had one guy pull that on me today. Trying to control my behavior is a surefire way to make sure I will not be chatting with you. very mad

Marketing yourself is the way of the world. Maybe some people are uncomfortable with that concept, but that's just a matter of being aware of what you're actually doing. You do it for every job interview, and using this site is like a job interview isn't it. Finding the right man for the job... wink
Thank you. Now I know I on "right track"wave
I don't have a problem with long profiles. It means (to me, anyway)that you want to share information about yourself. Some people like the short ones, they don't want to read a long profile. And that is fine too. We are all different with different tastes. And I sure don't demand perfection. I'm not perfect, and I don't expect anyone else to be either.
IMO, most profiles get filled out on the fly with very little thought put into them. I would rather read long and chatty than short and uninformative. I re did mine 3 times before I posted it. I'm a pretty honest and straightforward person, and I wanted the basics about me to be pretty clear. I'm sure there are mistakes in my grammar or punctuation. But I wanted to sound coherent, and I think I pulled that off.
But I think some people are missing my point. The whole idea is to let people know a little something about you. If you don't write a description and fill out the questionnaires, than how can I know anything about you? I called it marketing, and I stand by that. You are trying to sell yourself as someone that is interesting enough to date. You can't get your whole personality across in the couple of paragraphs of your profile, but you can put something that will spark someones interest. It may not be me that you intrigue, but if you don't put any information out, how will we know what a great guy you are?
In my case, I like funny men. If your profile made me laugh, I am much more likely to email you. But if I see you are a looking for your 16th wife, then I know you are not for me. That bit if info just saved both of us a lot of time and trouble.
If you need help and advice with your profile just let me know. doh

Very judgemental and condemning. professor

If you don't go within, you will go withot! comfort
Thank you for your advise on how I should post my profile. My mother gave me advise when I was young, unfortunately her advise like yours was just her opinion.
My mistake was posting a photo on the request of a woman from the site, since then no-body has bothered to read my profile as they judge me on what I look like in my photo.
As for one line replies that is all I get, that is if after taking the trouble to contact a woman I get a reply at all!!
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created Nov 2010
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