Infidelity

For me there are two deal breakers in a relationship. Violence of whatever nature and infidelity. I'm still confident about violence but I have started reviewing my outlook on infidelity.

Before you start slamming this train of thought, dear reader, hear me out.

I have experienced in my time of single living an inordinate amount of people in committed relationships that were "available" or "open" to other possibilities. This caused to venture down the thought that fidelity as previously contemplated no longer exists. Has there been somewhere along the line a moral shift or has it always been this why and was somewhat less overt?

Consider the idea that a couple have been together for 25 years and 1 of the partners strays. The guilty realises the idiocy of his or her action and truly regrets the mistake. Should a standard of unforgivable be assigned to such a person or is there scope for redemption?

The wise tell us that there are 3 stages of love. Eros (physical love), Filia (brotherly love) and Agape (unconditional love). It strikes me that in modern living that we are obsessed with physical love and the ego attached to such a love that we forego the traditional values of forgiveness and working at achieving something.

This is my opinion.
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Comments (2)

'agape' is just for the very very matured, grown- up and wise people. exeptions.

people who have enough basic self-respect and self-acceptence, who are not dependent of some-one elses fidelity.

these men/women are very rare.

people who want the other one to be happy, without checking pro's and con's, without asking something back. and still respect their own boundaries and limitations.

it is to be able to give rather than take..you have got to 'have' some, to be able to give..

strange enough most people are full of 'agape' with their mouth...but in everyday life...they practice something else. the small ego (or big? which is in fact small) is easily damaged. because it was never healthy..

films, books and songs..cry out about love and passion.
but; real love is quiet, peaceful..its harmony in the heart.

i myself am not one of the lucky few, but at least I'm aware of that..can laugh at it...which leads me a littlebit in that direction.

dancing
Thanks for your thoughtful comments Leedie.

As an interesting aside, it is claimed that agape can be experienced at first encounter. As an example a parent's sense of uncompromising love and utter devotion for a child born with a disability.

Is it possible, do you think, that these 3 forms of love can and do co-exist in the most evolved of loving relationships?

Also, do we sometimes offer eros and expect agape in return?
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by flaxmeadow
created Jan 2011
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