FINDING ME!

Sometimes I think her biggest fear is being alone. The casted into a black pit of nothingness with no one to hold or be held by kind of alone that only makes you think of how you could have bettered yourself. The scary and upsetting alone that is perfect if you are suicidal. Don't worry shes not, but the loneliness makes her seek for companionship and compassion. She is an orphan. she has a family but she doesn't really fit in with them. I mean they love her and she loves them but they do not invite her into their separate worlds. maybe she would rather keep it that way. She knows what she is looking for is not within her family. What she does not know is that it is within herself. So she looks towards other people. Maybe that is why she is so unstable. Why she is so eager to please. She tries to make people like her and crave to be around her. This might be why some people see her as a great friend, a pushover, or an annoyance. Either way she is still lost.


At the moment she is walking around in her house restlessly, not really noticing her surroundings. She walks into her room towards the mirror dresser. She stares into the mirror seeing nothing. She stands there and stares.......and stares. As her image clears in the mirror she only sees a chocolate face with a full set of lips and big brown mocha eyes. Finally in these eyes she sees a spark. She gently touches the mirror, as if scared this miracle will go away, and whispers "Where have you been?".


So I tell her when she lost me. I was always here for her but she hasn't seen me for a while, well untill now. I tell her how I led her back to me. How long I have been waiting. I hope I never lose myself again because it is hell trying to get BACK!!!!!!