Dispatches from the utility room...

...Good evening fellow webbies...

"I'll be back", the immortal line uttered by Arnie as the terminator in the film franchise...
A scarey prediction of a time when machines will take over the world, with one purpose in mind...The total anhialation of all human life...
Schloky sci fi horror or a portent of what is to be?...
Sorry to say folks, but the future is now!, the machines are taking over...Not in a Terminator / flying HK (hunter killer) / half track gun carrier stylee...But in the black and white goods we buy to do our daily bidding!...
Once upon a time there was domestic bliss in the Lard house, laundry was done without fear or favour, toast was toasted and water was "kettled", all was fine and dandy....untill!...
My beloved Indiset washing machine of 10 years gave up the ghost, collapsed centre bearing the doctor said, nothing could be done he said, they dont make the parts anymore he said...
So, what to do?...A shiney new machine was the order of the day, and like all webbites, I did my research, what spin, how much load, energy efficiency, and of course...ease of use!...
What could possibly go wrong?, 'mmmmm, (and theres always an 'mmmmm in stories like this)...
Well, I chose a Bosch washing machine (high end model), sure, the more it costs the better it is, right?, 'er wrong!... Instructions!, they may as well have been written in code with an enigma machine cypher...I looked at them right way up, upside down and even sideways on, to no avail...So i did what most men do given such a situation, I pushed buttons and twiddled knobs, prodded this and poked that in the vain hope i was not going to be left "sans" laundery for the next week...
Resistance was futile, I could almost hear the gods of laundery laughing at my feeble attempts at domestic dominance...
But time heals all wounds and I later found pushing every button and turning the knobs up to full on got a result...Ok, a wash might take over 3 hours, but at least i dont have to go and buy new clothes when my old ones get dirty!...(shrinkage of course is quite another matter!..."Hello, is that the "big and tall" shop?, yes it me again, yes, trousers, shirts and more underpants").....
Sure, it could'nt happen twice, could it?...'mmmmm (again!), just dont talk about the "new" kettle that turns itself on when it feels like it, or the toaser that 'er, just about warms the bread up (even with the knob up to full)...Dammit, its a bloody toaster, its sole purpuse in life is supposed to be to make toast, not warm floppy bread!...I could breath more heat on it if i tried hard enough...
So, in conclusion, i want to build a time machine and go back to 1998, and get 5 of everything that is now worn out or wearing out, so when the moment comes, as it always does, i'll have things that do what there supposed to do, with instructions that dont need to come with a professor of linguistics as an optional extra...
The machines are winning, HELP NEEDED NOW!, where is John Conner when you need him most?...
Transmission ends...

All the best...Lard...doh
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Comments (1)

Again you proved an excellent skill. Funny, wonderful "weight" and a float, one reach the shore sooner than expected and wanted.
Besides, and in spite of being a woman I understand the topic, agree with you----Both I AND the the world of technic have seen better days!!!!innocent

Did I ask you if you ever have considered writing a book?

You should!!!!professor

Thank you for the entertainment! hug

Yvonne
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created Jan 2011
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