Giving up on give and take ...

Not quite sure where this blog post is going, I have an idea and I’m not sure if it’s right or not – more of a theory than an idea I guess …. There is much talk of love, respect and truth, understanding and a million more epithets of worthiness on this site – in blogs, threads and private mails. We are all looking for the elusive holy grail but the fact is that unless you are committed to a long term online relationship, sex and s*xual attraction in person comes into play long before you even get a foothold in the whole business of mutual understanding and moral dilemmas.
Now I know there are many looking for nothing more than sex, that’s quite alright – as long as they don’t deceive in order to get it. There is nothing wrong with no emotional attachment sex by mutual consent but for most of us – we’re looking for something a little more engaging, I used to think the key to relationship success was compromise. I now think I was totally wrong, certainly I feel I compromised myself out of my last relationship – eventually there was so little of me left, I just couldn’t face living like that another day. If you compromise, you are both in danger of never getting anything you want and that’s not much a reward for all that effort is it?
Giving 100% in a relationship means self examination and self acceptance of things that are less than perfect, we’ve all got flaws both in psyche and physicality but if you can believe that your partner wants you as you want them, then these things are trifling matters. It’s a liberating thing to throw off your inhibitions and if you can really get down and dirty with your significant other, discussing other issues will be 200% easier – give your vulnerability whatever form it takes and you might be surprised at what you get back.
So as I embark back into the world of relationships my new philosophy is giving. Give, give, give – if he turns out to be one of life’s takers then I walk away and try again. Eventually I’ll find another of life’s givers and the theory goes that 2 people giving is going to be hugely more rewarding than compromising …
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Comments (6)

Hi Sweet Sally, . .

Don't ever "Give" up, . . on Compromise or getting down and dirty, . . scold

Because there is nothing more Attractive, . .

than a pretty girl, . .that likes to give, Give, Give, . .dancing
That's why i love that Phil Collins' song "We need to hear both sides of the story"....
well i too just found myself in that same position myself recently. about a year ago i met a man locally from a web site he was on and i had just went on and we dated for four months before his true colors came out. he was wishy/washy and went from one type of relationship he wanted then something else. I finally just boldly came out and asked him if the relatioship we had was a drive through sex thing and he said yeah but he wanted it to be long term though, Had he have stated that from the start i wouldn;t have wasted so much time getting to know him. if you want a long term relationship then spell out what u want and be bold about it so if you don't want the same things you don't waste each other;s time.
Compromise is a tricky thing ... In a relationship quite often the person with the strongest personality takes a strangle hold of ALL spare time activities .. so much so, the other person completely loses their own identity .. i.e. One person gains everything... the other loses everything .. And for what? An attempt to strengthen .. keep together ... a relationship that's based on a selfish, one-sided take .. take .. take scenario. It takes 2 to make something work .. but there needs to be a balance. I fly solo these days, my life .. my spare time .. is ALL mine and it's going to stay that way ... 100% guaranteed ... grin
thanks for the comments ... flying solo - maybe, I just feel it's time to put the effort it and stop being the emotional retard I can so easily become ... I would love to find that connection, I'm just trying to work out how and the stuff that matters and the stuff that isn't that important....
drive thru sex? Sorry you suffered the deception but really if it was good and fun, chalk it up and move on...
Forest - not quite sure what you meant ...
Jester - Oh but I can take as good as I give laugh
Hi again, Sweet Sally, . wave

Now the Question Becomes:.professor

How much of "Me", . . can one pretty little lady, . . Take?, . confused
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Galway, Ireland

Hey - you know this place might just work I've found my - not Mr Perfect but perfect for me.
Keep searching ... keep hoping ... and one day in the middle of that ordinary day, life might just hand you that fairytale. Here for forums only. [read more]

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created Feb 2011
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Last Commented: Feb 2011
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