Giving up on give and take ...Not quite sure where this blog post is going, I have an idea and I’m not sure if it’s right or not – more of a theory than an idea I guess …. There is much talk of love, respect and truth, understanding and a million more epithets of worthiness on this site – in blogs, threads and private mails. We are all looking for the elusive holy grail but the fact is that unless you are committed to a long term online relationship, sex and s*xual attraction in person comes into play long before you even get a foothold in the whole business of mutual understanding and moral dilemmas.
Now I know there are many looking for nothing more than sex, that’s quite alright – as long as they don’t deceive in order to get it. There is nothing wrong with no emotional attachment sex by mutual consent but for most of us – we’re looking for something a little more engaging, I used to think the key to relationship success was compromise. I now think I was totally wrong, certainly I feel I compromised myself out of my last relationship – eventually there was so little of me left, I just couldn’t face living like that another day. If you compromise, you are both in danger of never getting anything you want and that’s not much a reward for all that effort is it?
Giving 100% in a relationship means self examination and self acceptance of things that are less than perfect, we’ve all got flaws both in psyche and physicality but if you can believe that your partner wants you as you want them, then these things are trifling matters. It’s a liberating thing to throw off your inhibitions and if you can really get down and dirty with your significant other, discussing other issues will be 200% easier – give your vulnerability whatever form it takes and you might be surprised at what you get back.
So as I embark back into the world of relationships my new philosophy is giving. Give, give, give – if he turns out to be one of life’s takers then I walk away and try again. Eventually I’ll find another of life’s givers and the theory goes that 2 people giving is going to be hugely more rewarding than compromising …