Relationships: How Do I Deal With Loneliness

I think all of us deal with loneliness in some shape or form throughout our lives. It is really tough when all your friends have a special someone and your the only single person in the tribe of friends. Sometimes our "Friends" try to set us up and you know that does not work out too well. Then when you do go out through a recommendation, sometimes it can't be helped you piss off your friends girl friends cousin and everyone blames you as the bad guy. You want to tell them the truth but you just stay silent and let the air settle. My friends stopped trying to help me because they started to see I had pretty good judgment of character.

I have learned a lot about that feeling of loneliness. After all these years I have turned loneliness into "all-one" and into a cheesy way to say "ALL ONE NESS". Don't laugh it works for me. I feel I have conquered this black dog. My social life is regulated around work but I do find time to unwind. I enjoy myself more because I have learned to appreciate my values and myself in general. I really like myself and I can't please everyone.

So, I have learned to conquer a fear and a "social angst" by forcing myself to be silent and let the feeling of loneliness to pass. The times I have broke that rule I seem to run into people like my friends now ex-girl friends cousin again who was a desperate lady looking for someone to cure her of her loneliness. How paradoxical.

Be good to yourself today.
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Comments (4)

Yep...I have been working on my Hermitism now for quite a long time! Hadn't had the company of another human being for 7 months, until I got a visit from a long lost friend last week! roll eyes doh laugh

I have spent much of my life travelling/working all over the uk, so have spent a lot of time by myself, sometimes in very remote areas. I never minded at all during those times, but now a days it is a different story. There is a distinct difference between "being alone" and "being lonely".

wave hug
Hi, my name is Roseann (a) and i read your blog. I deal with lonliness by trying out new experiences and it works. I've written two small books of poetry for charities, did a bunjee(sp) jump, learned to swim, drive, yoga, ti chi, and lots more and it has opened doors to new people and new friends for me. Thats what I'm doing here, another new experience. Havn't had d nerve yet to start my own blog but i think 2day is the day im going to attempt to bring a light of positivity into this dimly lit arena. So far I have read some heavy, sad , and poignant blogs. Its good that people are writing it , expressing it, better out than in as ma said! I think that if you are happy in yourself you'll conquer the lonliness. If your in fear of the lonliness your giving it your energy. Like when your on your arranged date- do you spend the time with the new acquaintance looking for her potential as a mate/gfriend/wife, or do you just enjoy the current experience you are sharing with her? Lonliness is only as strong as you allow it to be as far as i'm concerned! Enjoy your life . R
I wanted to add something that helped me when I was 30 days in the hospital with a severe infection and almost died. You can use it for anything. It works for me and I cannot promise any results and you should not expect results because that will nullify your efforts. That is one thing we in the West have to conquer, being result orientated. Be a detached observer. That sounds crazy but remember I am the researcher. So here goes.

This can apply to anything but we will be dealing with the emotion of loneliness. Close your eyes. You are at an infinite wall of loneliness (poverty, anger, etc.). You are not able to go around it, dig under it or climb over it. As you sit in silence in front of the wall, wait and listen if you hear anything on the other side. Maybe you do not hear anything. It does not matter. Touch the wall. What do you sense, feel, smell. It does not matter if you do. Sit and wait. Then when you feel finished, decide what you want to do or decide to do nothing at all.

One of the issues I have with people who teach visualization is they give the student too much information and direction. Most teachers are bogos anyway. Try it. You are equipped naturally and you are capable to be your self.

Thanks for the comments and be good to yourself today.
I am alone right now, it just doesn't bother me. I have never been alone until 4 years ago. You are never lonely, there is always someone to love you. The accomplishments of my children and them makes me so fulfilled, you can't even feel it anymore!teddybear
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created Feb 2011
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