The Worst News

Last year I wrote about a dear friend of mine. I wrote some poems for her. She was going through treatment for cancer at the time. She did go into remission and we were all very happy for her.
I am sorry to say, the cancer has come back. And all hope has gone. The dr's said less than a year to live. My beautiful Bonnie is a brave soul. I don't want to lose her but in a few months she will have left my life.
A question for you survivors. Of all the wishes and gestures that your dear friends had done for you what was the most endearing? What made you smile in your darkest moment. I want to be able to give or say something special to show just how much I really care about her and her family. My daughter is a professional photographer and she has agreed to take Bonnie's portrait (now, when she is feeling well enough). I would pay for anything that my daughter had to pay out of her own pocket. So of course Bonnie would pay for nothing. Do you think this would be ok? Another idea I had was to give Bonnie a beautiful journal to write anything she felt like writing about. Maybe something she could dedicate to her husband and family. Is the journal too presumptuous of me? I am at a loss right now. I don't wish to be insensitive or overbearing, but I do wish to show how much I care for my dear friend.
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Comments (9)

Being there as much as you can with your friend will speak volumes about how much she means to you. The idea about the pictures and a journal for her family sounds perfect. What has made me smile in a dark moment is to have support and their sense of humor. It may not take away what is wrong, but lightens the heart just the same. Best wishes. sad flower
wave Christmas,,,,Maybe let her read this,,and ask your friend what her wishes would be,,,,,

( by Erma Bombeck after she found out she was dying from cancer).

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.
I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have talked less and listened more.
I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.
I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.
I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains.
I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.
I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment.
When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, 'Later. Now go get washed up for dinner.' There would have been more 'I love you's' More 'I'm sorry's.'
But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute. Look at it and really see it . live it and never give it back. STOP SWEATING THE SMALL STUFF!

Cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us. Maybe we should all take this lesson in life,,,,,

maybe your friend has her own wishes,,,ask her,,,,
The best gift is the gift of your time. When my mom was told she only had four months at the most to live I gave her time. Quality time. For her and for meblues Her friend who I had known all my life would come to see her. I watched a few days before my mom passed away as her friend helped her out to the swing in the yard and the two of them sat together. What a picture they made for me to look out my kitchen window and see. If I live to be a thousand I will never forget how I felt when I watched the two swinging and I thought back to when I was a little girl and they were young women getting dressed to go out dancingcrying I only wished I had more time to of spent with my mom. I tried a few years before that to talk her into moving in with me. She would not hear of it. She did the last four months. I am sorry for what you must be feeling. And wish all of you involved the best. Chin up you are strong sad flower
Why not make a video of all of you together having a good time.Each one say a few words at the end.

hug teddybear wave
sometimes the world is to short help her celebrate her life i know she would want that
Bonnie and a few other friends are visiting on Thursday. I will approach her about the portrait idea. I have yet to find a suitable journal for her. Will keep trying. Apparently she is very upbeat but realistic. We always let her take the lead about her cancer. She has some very close friends and we love her dearly.
My dear sweet Bonnie. She and friends did visit on Thursday. At first we talked about everything. Then she brought up the subject of her death. She knows there is no hope. She said and I am quoting "I am f*cked". She told her children (they are adults). And her husband of course. She is still working and will until she can't anymore. She will have chemotherapy and after that a special pill that turns off the cancer cells. But the cancer cells eventually know they are being fooled and work away around the pill to start their nasty business again. She took my offer for a portrait and she wants me to go with her. Of course I will. More than likely she will die from not being able to breathe as she already has lost the use of one lung and the cancer is in the other now. What else can I say other than that I love you Bonnie.teddybear
wave Christmas,, Be strong for your friend, hug make her time,,, memorable,,bonne courage hug
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