New Working Practices....

"The lunatics have taken over the asylum"....(Fun Boy Three)

So there it is...Im a machanic, and a pretty good one if i might say...
Fix cars!, yep, I can do that...indeed its been what i've done for the best part of 25 years...not much gets by me, and why should it...
Its just "tin and rubber", nothing complicated like "rocket science" or the like...And heres the thing...I still enjoy my work!...Can you say that?...
So what has happened today to make me think i should "get the hell out of dodge"...Ok, bare with me here, cos this is going to sound pretty f****d up...

My service manager, great guy that he is (and i do mean that) had the entire "after sales team" ( mecanics aint grease monkeys anymore), sat us down, and announced that "the company" has introduced a "personal self assesment" programme, in which we (the spanner jockeys) have to grade ourselves on a MONTHLY BASIS as to how WE think were performing within the company!...

Rearrange these words into a well known phrase or saying "bollocks utter"...
For the love of god, my collegues and i fix cars...if i want to be analysed ill go to a f*****g shrink....Think about this for a moment, at a labour rate of 60 euros an hour ( of which i see around 12 of them) , it takes around 10 of your earth minutes to do this "self assesment" shit...thats money off your bill...Happy with that are you?...Me, Id be going puce at the thought...

So, whats on the list, oh your gonna like this!...
Do I "make the right diagnosis first time"
Am I productive enough....
Am I flexible enough with my work hours....
Am I punctual...
Do I have company and business focus...
Am I tidy in my workspace....
Am I presentable in my appearance....
Am I full and accurate in all my warranty reports....
And there are others that i cant remember due to not having this form to hand...

Ok, I get the whole thing of "yearly assesment"...Its reasonable for a company to keep tabs on employee progress...But every f*****g month?....
Please, do me a favour....I earn little more than a checkout assistant at Tesco....
Somewhere in a cosy office there is some clueless f**k wit on 45k a year thinking out ways to slow down my progress and your car repairs...
It used to be so easy, find the problem, fix the car, hand it back to the customer, repeat the same process till going home time....
Think its just the police and the medical profession getting bogged down in needless paperwork?....Think again!....
To paraphrase Peter Finch in "Network", "Im mad as hell", but i aint got a choice if i want to keep my job....
Bring on the "Gods of common sense"....PLEASE!........

Transmission ends....Lard...