Where Does the Past Belong?

Many of us walk in this world, filled with regret. It seems to be the one thing none of us can ever really put down. It, and possibly the remote control in your right hand, or perhaps even that cup of Mocha Decaf you're dreaming about right now. So, alright, go ahead and have the Mocha Decaf while surfing your TV tonight and settling for yet another episode of "Idol." If I could change one thing in your lives, dear readers, it would be the point of view we all seem to have about the past.

Where does the past belong, I consider? Well, you can all say it with me, "...in the past." Of course. For a very long time in my life I stumbled around in this world trying to find a place to reside in my future security. I even fashioned a very successful career while doing all that tripping about. Still, I had made big, no HUGE mistakes in my life to that point and frequently felt empty despite the success. Of course, emptiness begets insecurity, insecurity begets unhappiness and unhappiness begets, regret! It's a self fulfilling prophecy readers. Some of you here are young enough to not yet have much regret...others among us, have lived with it nipping at our heals, for what seems like a lifetime.

I've learned a lot at the cost of my own folly, and it never ceases to amaze me how the children I raised, never seemed to want to benefit from those life lessons. We've all been there, we believed at 16 that we knew the answers to all the questions, but yet, hadn't heard the questions! As children, you were told, "No, don't touch the very red, and very hot burner on the stove." But, as only a child can do, they test the theory, to their chagrin. So, when someone twice your age offers an insight into the issues of your life, think about taking something from that experience. For me, carrying that regret was a poisonous journey. One that destroyed relationships because I was obsessed about destroying relationships. I mean, honestly, how does that ever happen? Answer, when the person in question fails to learn from the past.

The really great thing about humanity is that we are fallible, and we all get do overs. It seems that we get a certain number of built in face plants before we start to really screw up our lives, irrevocably. And, if you're lucky, the person in your life that is most important to you, probably recognizes the same faults, in themselves.

A mentor of mine once told me that, "...you need to be able to discern the difference between, the sense of urgent, and sense of vital." Are they same? Not hardly. You can get away with leaving out some of the urgent things on your list, so long as you address them soon. But, if you fail to address the vital? Oh mercy! Look out, life tends to intervene really quite quickly.

The point you ask? Don't sweat the stuff you have no control over! It's a tried and tested theory, believe me. Then, when you learn that the things you can not control are not a particular threat to you, try looking back to all that regret in your life, and think about just setting it down. Walk away, leave it for dead, don't look behind, wave as you say goodbye, just forget it! You really only have to pick one, in the end it all works the same. But this I know, the past can and will tie you up in knot's and keep you from being present in the moment which is, right place...right time, for a blessed new relationship. That is, IF you let it.

Where does the past belong? Where it is. In the past. Today is yours to do with it, what you will. Give it some thought, it just might save the way you look at life.