My day so far ...

Today, as it was blowing a hoolie and a blizzard whipped up for good measure, I thought 'Oh, my poor darling Mare and the sweet little Noddy the shetland pony will be so cold! I will put them in the stable!' and out I went into a raging storm ..... my wails of 'NOOOOODDDDDYYYYY' and 'TTTIIIIIAAAAAAAA' were whisked away in a gale .... my fingers were numb in seconds .... my nose running faster than a derby winner..... I forgot the electric fence was on and was WHACKED from here to next week ... OUCH! The hill was a desolate place .... only the cattle mooching by the wall heard my calls .... and why? WHY? Because my mad mare and her side kick were in the bloomin dog kennels!!! God give me strength! The pair of nutters! Noddy wedged in the doorway, his bum braving the storm, Tia in the dog run with her head behind the garage! Now persuading them that, by the law of physics, if they had got themselves IN there, they could jolly well get themselves OUT again, was a feat that required nerves of steel .... Noddy was determined to get further into the kennel (a brick built structure with doorways half the width of normal house doors) and Tia, suddenly seeing her best friend almost totally disappearing from her sight, decides to have a panic and a strop and starts spinning round in the dog run bawling her head off and nearly flattening me into the process! There is not enough room in that dog run for a couple of Shetlands let alone a 16.2hh mad black mare having a tantrum! And all the while, the blizzard and the icy wind is cutting me to pieces .... and then? Then I realise that two ducks are in there too! Two silly muscovy ducks are paddling around under the mad mares feet - flapping and hissing indignantly as if THEY had every right to be there .... meanwhile, Dougie dog is laying in his own kennel doorway... trembling in anticipation .... he wants to round us all up and get us ALL into his kennel!
I managed to haul out the protesting Noddy and shove him through the gate towards the stable ... closely followed (TOO closeley for my liking!) by the mad mare who thinks I am kidnapping her wee man and is determined to put a stop to my eveil deed ....
The ducks flapped along, half blown, half chased by the Wonder dog ( Wonder dog because I WONDER what he will do next!) towards the hen house ....
I persuade the mad mare that the stable and her friend and a hay net and a yummy feed were truly my intentions all along .... but she still eyed me with disdain, shook herself and then turned her bum on me....
A frozen, exhausted, feeble scrap of humanity, I braved the gale and burst into the house and warmth and ... stood in a pile of pooh the puppy had decided I REALLY needed just then! Sigh ....