He never said a word
until last night, some twenty six years later when Fate has swung her laughing loom and woven him back in to the tapestry of my life. Oh, this is not someone I fancied, although he was attractive. Back in the day I was knotted inextricably in the worst decision of my life that burned up the decade of my twenties for the most part and this man was a see you at the parties, dance and sing with wave a merry farewll until the next time kind of guy.Then last night speaking to the woman who may have found a home for Furball, our business concluded she said "hold on, there's someone wants to talk to you." and this rich voice that plucked at memory said "where have you been all of my life" I said, "oh, here and there like everyone, and who are you?"
A long conversation, he now married, confides his old passion (secret) for me, his desire (also secret) to marry me, although I suspect that bed me would be more accurate. Oh well, it was fun to have a moment of remembering my heyday when I was so totally unvailable that men had crushes from a distance on me.
I cannot help but wonder if someone had evinced an open interest if it might have broken through the spell that suspended me in pain as if I was a fly strayed on to resin slowly dying and becoming a jewel to be mounted and displayed in all the nicest places.
Strangely, I have no regrets for that dark time that twisted me, carved memories that took an age to fade and heal; bottom line it was my choices that forged the chains and when I made the choice they fell away as easily as feathers on a baby's breath and I learned many lessons I will not have to sit through any more.
So it is nice to know I was desired, have lived in memory across a gulf of years without the slightest contact. Perhaps I should order up a headstone that says "They never spoke, but they remembered her forever"