What do you need a man for?

I have always pondered this question. One of the few questions I have come across that deserved searching for an answer. In the end I chose to ask someone who HAD a good man. I went to my sister Becky to find out how she managed to pick a good one.

Her answer was really quite interesting, and gave me a glimpse into how many woman's minds work. SHE says that women need a man to support them financially, provide good genes for babies, and to scrape the ice and snow off the car.

They do have other uses she says. Think of every crappy job you hate, and that is what they are good for. (filling the car with gas, mowing and weed whacking, paying the bills, emptying the mouse traps, spanking small children, driving during rush hour traffic, picking up the carry-out, unplugging the toilet, hooking up electronic equipment, fixing small appliances, putting bikes and cribs together, and magically making the computer work when the screen goes blank.) You get the general idea.

I was flabbergasted. First of all, I had no idea other men but my father DID those things. Second of all, there HAD to be more. Let's be honest here, in a pinch I could do all those things. I might not LIKE it, but I could do it. And have done all of them at one point or another.

I am the first to admit that I am technically challenged. I can drive a man crazy just trying to figure out how to empty my trash can in my hotmail account. But on most other things I do believe I am a fairly intelligent woman. I am a weird combination of witty, smart, savvy, funny, and sadly enough.....strangely naive.

I am the most trusting person you will ever meet. I will leave my purse on a chair and walk away for a half hour. Leave my doors unlocked. Lend money to virtual strangers. Believe just about anything you tell me. I think it comes down to the fact that...I would never consider stealing from someone. Would feel horrible for lying. And have an incredibly guilty consionce for hurting someone. So...I just assume that everyone has honor.

So yeah....basically I have a target on my back. My brother once told me how my dad sat him and my other brothers down and had a little talk with them. How it was their responsibility to see me married off by the time I was 18. Find a man with a great deal of patience, a sense of humor....or a penchant for alcohol. And pawn me off as quick as they could. A man that would put me in a glass box so I wouldn't hurt myself. Not very complimentary, but pretty accurate.

So I learned in time that there was a huge difference between "wants" and "needs". I knew what I wanted in a man. But what I NEED is apparently quite different. I WANT a man with a sense of humor. Someone fun who has different interests than me. That would give us something fun to share don't you think? Who can treat me like my inner whore when we are alone, but never lets his friends know my other side.

What I NEED is a man with a sense of humor, patience, honor, and frankly.....fast reflexes. A man that can move like the wind when I have done something stupid once again. Who can still love me even knowing that I will probably do it again, but really...I don't mean any harm. And I think that was what my dad was hoping for. Someone who would spend allot of time sighing deeply and popping aspirin, but hopefully, in the end, wouldn't trade me for anything.



So yeah....I'm still alone.