Will this be My Life ? Forever ?

Well , I've lost my father 4 years ago ..and since then Im taking care of my family , elder brother & a little sister and my mom ..
i have an elder sister but she's living with her husband out of the country ..
my family means everything to me .. i love them to death ..but ..
i've thinking ALOT the past few days ..will this be my life ? forever to take care of them ? cuz i forgot myself to look after them .. i work all day long till late at night and weekends so that i can give them the life they wanna have ..
IM Not COMPLAINING AT ALL , I love what i do ..That's what keeps me strong and going on ..
But what made me rethink this ..is that my mom has travelled to my sis out of the country since 4 days now ..and im all responsiable of EVERTHING !!! That kinda scared me .. cuz i was like : " What if mummy has been gone just like my father !!God forbidden .. Will I be able to take care of a family and live like that in such young age !?
My elder brother is disabled .. and my little sister needs to finish school , she is only 13 !
i cry at the middle of the night , thinking ..of this ..
What if !? will I be able to do it ? and how would I even start my life when im living for them ?? and ofcourse i would never leave them to my sister ..cuz anyways ..she's careless about us from the first place ...and my mom gave me instrucations that when she's out of this world ..that for me to take care of my sis and bro. and ofcourse i said I WILL !
and even i wanna be with someone in the future .. how will be able to control both lifes ??

I just don't know ..thoughts coming and going everywhere in my mind now ..that i just wanna freez my mind ..

Take care all
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Comments (15)

It's clear you are going through so much and when the time is right and a nice guy comes along he should understand what your going through and support you 100% there are some great guys out there who will help you through everything so keep your head up comfort
Strewth swan !! How do you cope You're just kind I guess. !!bouquet bouquet
Hey darren , Im sure there are lotta great guys in the world ..
im not thaaaaat worry ..but still .. a girl will think of stuff like that ..
yes i am goin' thru so much .. its just killing me inside that sometimes i have to work so much that im not able to be with them as well .. I don't know !!
Praying for better days to come !

Thanks for ur support

Parti , Honey teddybear
it's not about beeing kind .. they are FAMILY !! if im not there for them who will be ?
and beleive me ..im trying my best to cope !! sometimes i don't and i just cry for mercy like any human ..but the next day i wake up for a reality that and i have to deal with it
..right ?dunno

Thanks alot for ur sweet words

hey Swan,
what a panic? evth will be okay, dear.
ur mum will live long-long happy life, God bless her,
and ur sis wont be 13 forever, God bless her too, she cud be able to help the family pretty soon.
dont cry, just arm urself with patience and fortitude.

take care teddybear
may god bless you with your hopes and dreams dear sweet swan
There are lot of people in this world suffering more dificulty than you more critical things so just think about that people and just thankful to god what you have right now and have positive thinking always that gives more power to handle situation,,,,best of luck....god bless
Oh Sweet Oly ,, You're 100% Right !!
and i wont cry that much , don't worry
may God bless u as well sweety ..
Thanks alot for ur kind support

@ John : Habibi thank you my dear ...wish you the same

THANKS arshids !! Yes it's true .. i gotta keep my positive thinking alive !

oh my dear :( .. my parents got divorced around ten years ago, and my mother has taken the burden of raising the four of us, now my brother is doing that, I know how hard this is, and I can't stop feeling guilty when I think of my brother, but certainly I won't forget about him and I will make sure to help him when I get a good job and make it up for him so he won't feel like he wasted years of his life ..

just don't forget that good things happen to good people, and you are a good person ..
I think it is very sweet of you to take care of your family.
Maybe when your little sister grows up she can help too?sad flower
Taking care of family members labels you as a special caring person. Sacrifices made now are payback for sacrifices your family made for you when you were younger. Time management will see you through your period of crisis.
Concerning honesty with yourself, you say, "IM Not COMPLAINING AT ALL".
Yes, you are complaining.
We have every right to question what is occuring in our lives.
You need to talk with yourself and admit to yourself that you are unhappy with your situation.
This does NOT make you a bad person.
By accepting these responsibilities, you are showing that you are a GOOD person.
Having the feeling you are having about the situation only shows that you are a typical human being with typical human emotions.
You feel trapped into a situation which is not of your making and undoubtedly, you feel that this was unfairly thrust upon you.
Sometimes this is actually true.
You might say, "This sucks. Life is unfair".
Well, that's true. Sometimes life does suck and be unfair.

You see people all around that sit there wringing their hands while they pray and watch their world crumble around them.
Others stand up and take action and, merely by DOING SOMETHING abiout the whatever, they feel much better, both about themselves and about whatever situation they may be experiencing.

You can take some time for yourself, whether it's an hour or two or an evening and just get away from the situation.
This doesn't have to be way away. Many times by just closing the door and going to a movie or wherever you can go there in Qatar can give you a little relief from it all.

Don't beat yourself for being human.
A lot of people wouldn't even bother to go home and face what you do.
You're better than them and, as the commercial says, you deserve a break today.
Take a break, if only for a few hours and go be that girl who you're hiding inside.
It's ok. It doesn't make you a bad person.
If I could hold your hand just as a friend and say, let's take a walk, I would as, sometimes that's all you need.

Put this on your cheek~~lips
@Swan I have been in a similar situation. What helped make me cope was I always said to myself 'this will not be forever.' I got through it and so will you.

teddybear hug

You will one day find someone who will share your life with you and will also care for the people you care for. That's how Karma works. hug
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