The Audience

I kinda dig the fact that people read these. That way I don't have to talk. That's an ability I lack. Which I think is petty tragic in a way.

Maybe that's part of my problem. I over think things and I lose the words. I pick out the flaws in myself and exploit them, possibly on purpose, I don't know. I tend to move too fast. I stare at things. I stare THROUGH them. I don't see things for what they are.

I don't expect too much. Quite the opposite. I expect very little. Could be from being bullied in my youth, the loss of people close to me by the hand of death? My OWN private conversations wth the Grimm Reaper? The actions of what I sometimes percieve as a pus filled society? My own want for more without any significant gain? Other people sometimes taking advantage of my openness?

The path I'm taking. That's the most frustrating of all. It twists so much that I can't see six feet ahead of me, and every turn I conquer, I skin my knee. I sprain my ankle. I lose my leg.

It's definitely a gravel path. Very hard on the feet. I try to be independent and handle things on my own, but just once, I'd like to be carried around the next bend. Let me ride piggy back and just look at the trees. Let someone else wear out their shoes.