am i really selfish ?
i became a mum at the age of 21 and again at the age of 22 because my partner who is 8 years older than me at the time wanted wanted children before he was 40 so we had two kids together, i gave up working in a salon to be a mum and partner and to keep house but i continued to do private hairdressing, even did a bit of ironing and selling avon to make ends meet when we were struggling for money, i never wnet out with my friends, i also gave all that upwhen our youngest child turned 5 we split up and i met someone else, and we had a child, i have since had another child, and never returned to work, i have been a stay at home mum now for 14 years
unfortunatly that relationship went wrong and i am on the social which i am hating, i want to do my hairdressing on the side to make extra money but i also want a career change and get back into full time work so two months ago i started going back to college once a week to do my nvq2 in childcare and i work voluntary at a pre-school once a week so i can get funded and go to colleg, i also do a long day of hairdresing which pays for the child minder three days a week as i cant afford to pay it out of the money i get
i dont drink, i dont smoke and i dont buy myself a lot of things but i do however enjoy going to zumba three times a week which i also take my youngest son with me to these and pay my eldest children or other people to baby sit them
after a row with my daughter one day cos she let me down 15 mins before i was due to go to zumba and i have been let down twice before since my parents have got involved calling me selfish, saying as long as i am happy sod everyone else and how i should give up everything and be there for my kids etc
i dontthink i am being selfish considering i am with my kids 24/7, i dont get a break from them ever unless i am working which again when i do my hairdressing i take my youngest son with me
what do you think, am i being selfish to expect to work two days a week, go to college once a week and go zumba three days a week
Comments (16)
How can you be there for anyone else unless you take care of your own needs?
ones here. They're not understanding all that your doing... college/volunteering/working and working out amongst all you domestic chores. Working your body is just as important as all the other things you are trying to accomplish. Sounds like a one on one with them can alleviate some of the tensions. gl
ps: if I understood you correctly, your parents were taking of the
babysitting task...
If you feel that it's hard to take care the children alone then you need a good babysitter.
Good luck, dear!
Summer
You are not selfish for taking care of youself. You are not not sefish for bettering you life...for yourself & for your kids. And if someone says ur selfish well maybe they are jealous in some way.
i love my children dearly and wish i could give them the world but relistically i cant so i give them my love and my support and trying to better myself so they can have nice things
its hard being a single mum but i would not be without my kids for the world and i dont complain about my life, would just be nice to have support from my family instead of criticism
Unfortunately this country seems to be full of hard luck stories, relationships gone wrong, kids all over the place and people like you expecting others to pick up the pieces.