Q:How to say no to a guy without hurting him??

ermmm, so, a boy asked me out but im not interested in him,how can i say no but not hurt him too much and still be friends???professor professor

moping moping moping moping moping

To be honest to myself ..... it's going to hurt him no matter what i say.

Should i just say "I'm sorry I don't feel the same way about you, I see you as a friend and value that friendship.

And then there is the most simple thing that i can say. "Let me think about it" That usually works and then he probably won't ask again.
: confused confused confused


frustrated frustrated frustrated frustrated

doh

confused!!!help
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Comments (48)

Some men like painwave
Their is no real easy way,i think you said it the best
I see you as a friend and value that friendship.
Rusha, I feel with that poore fellow...Because I know how I would feel myself. blues But it`s better you tell the truet, than keeping him in the fog...cool wine hug
Use the truth ,its gona hurt anyway but with the truth you wont get his hopes up and then hurt him even more .
lana said it right...

For me, a simple "I'm not interested. Thank you for your interest" would do fine .. sure enough I'd be sorry bout it but I love it honest and blunt!

beer
hmmmm.... i know i am going to tell him the truth...but how should i put it across to him!!! just don't wanna be rudeinnocent innocent innocent
10kOhms --- it sounds like i am taking a call from the bank or a call center ....wow wow wow
you dont have to be rude, just tell him like the way you would like to be told
Rusha I've had this problem too. Men cope with this much easier. But we always torture ourselves because of our women's mild hearts and thus make things worse. I'm sure you ll find the right tone! hug
show ur best smile when u tell him the truth. Hopefully, it can reduce the pain.wine
terbear--thank you so much....i think you are rightapplause applause
Jana--- thanks hope i do....the problem here is he is really dramaticmumbling mumbling mumbling doh doh doh

as if he is in a movie scene all the time!!
Rusha people who are dramatic actually survive things much easier: they just imagine they are drama stars. And leave you feeling guilty! You can't sacrifice yourself to save him from drama... I've done this once years ago and guess what? Instead of being happy with me that guy found another causes to be in drama! So be kind, but stay faithful to yourself! hug
I know this will sound weird because the way we rationalize things as women is always intertwined with some degree of sensitivity toward other's feelings but I have found that most men respect you more if you are just straight forward and to the point. You do not have to be cruel but just direct and honest.wine
It deps on ur rel with him, cos u said friend..? confused
-and what u think he's personalety might reacts best on.

So if its a "hotshot" sms him.

If its a frind in a group you are in, and he migh loose face and gets depressed i'd say sth like:
"im not intrested in that BUT, i have another request for you: im taking a walk tonite and like it very much if you'd join me and we can talk about life and death and the best beer in town. What u say?"

A third option is walk up to him from kinda nowhere and say friendly: hay got time to talk? And u take a little walk and tell stright away "im flattered by your offer, but im gonna decline." And when he says "why" u answer "not cos ur not great cos u truly are, but not for me". If one more argument from him u say: "but u see i dont have the hots for you, and then it would be wrong of me to say yes to you".

Calling i dont believe in. Sms, mail or meet. Only call if u wanna ask him out for a walk.

cool

It deps abit on what kind of contact u want with him later.

If he after all is distant, then send it in writing.
If he asked u face to face u have to tell him face to face also.

Morgster.
i think i am gonna go to his house and tell him....that would be good...

letters ---i wish i could do that, but personally if it happens to me i wont like a breakup letter..blues blues

Morgster.---i think i better face him:)
lana--- wish i could do that...but i know him he is not straight forward talks...he is little classic piece of drama kingcool cool
And Lana is right.
Stright hounesty if he is a hint-none-accepter.. laugh
Oh, hes the "dramatic" type? My ex was like that....well that is difficult.cool
Yea, grab the bull by the horns. Then atleast he can not say u were a coward, he'll respect u for putting an effort into the telling. BUT make sure u leave him CLEAR of what was the msg.
No dubt must be in him after it.

So if u can do it gracefully, with a stright back, and still throw in some humor and wormth (its almost how one treat a child u know..rolling on the floor laughing , cos he sounds like a kid)...

Good luck! We are cheering for you from over here
at cs applause (we want u instead..rolling on the floor laughing ) kidding!
hug

Haha, just reminded me of a song: /Stand up for your love rights/...haha...lets see if i can find it at youtube...
sec...yea here:


thumbs up
your welcome Rusha,i think at one time or another we all have to deal with the same thing,how not to hurt someone we care about
who we consider a friend,consider this too, he well go by Your tone of voice more than the actual words you use
Just tell him...sheeps go to haven,goats go to hellapplause
Rusha, if the man is a 'dramatic' type cud NO answer mean Next Opportunies for him? confused confused confused
If is truly a friend he will understand and take No for an answer. If he's egoist, a YES wouldn't make such a big difference for him because put this resolution by default.scold
Honestly now, why people tent to take a YES for granted and NO for a disaster ? I will never ever understand thatdunno
morgen-thanks !!!for the song....i will go politely if he starts his drama....i think i can put more drama into it....standing up for my rights:)rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
bungallow55----hahaha devil devil devil devil i think i will remember your dialogue.... laugh laugh laugh
Rusha,you can always let him down easily..Tell him your flattered by his interest, but you dont think you two are a match.
thats what exactly i was planning to say:)applause applause applause applause dancing
Send him a mobile phone text... every other woman does when she cannot face the moment of truth.
i will face it....wont text him...its very stupid i think :P
Rusha,

you may cancel my comment if it's unappropriated. sorry for the inconvenience i will keep myself out next time
BlindSonar--- no no its fine...i need opinions...so why to delete it???wink wink

Just hope he is not in the egoist categorycomfort

honestly even i dnt know why do people take No----so negatively....cool
hope they see the brighter side of "NO"!!!!wine
Ask him to marry you see if he runs away!
gleneagle ---you are genius:) i think its the most witty thing to say to a guy:)rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing


your genetically genius--- i think ...thank you....

i am on for this line:P:grin: grin grin
feelinglost- how about singing this song for him..... will he run...if i sing this song

seeing you over passed my comment i thought i said something wrong. just one thing to add and i will set myself sailing. if it's just to go out and you obviously are not interested in him, go out anyway, spend little time being in control of the situation and excuses will be much handy, after. anyone can fail a test, true ?wink
excusesconfused confused confused confused i got some great ideas and funny one to....let see how it goes:)wine wine wine
i was about to write... sorry wont be late again...cheerswine wine drinking drinking drinking handshake
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