I need some guidance

My brother recently went to jail.....none of my close family members nor I have ever went to jail and so it's hitting me and my family pretty hard. We live in a decently small town and talk, above all, is what surfaces. The truth gets so mangled and twisted and it's hard to know who and what to believe. His charges are drug related and it's embarrassing for my hard working family to understand. I completely understand the hold that drugs can have over someone but my family members are tough....we can withstand the hardest of times and it's hard to see my six foot four brother who, before a month ago worked for the state at the jail, as a weak person that could not control that part of his life. I am worried about the effect it has over my parents. I am a tough cookie and not too worried about the actual effects that may in turn be put on me, but my parents are sad, depressed, outraged, hurt, and disgusted. He had went away to Georgia to be with some of my family to help get him through his issues and he swore to us that he was done when he came back....only been bout a week and a half since he's been back and now he is behind bars.....

Please no judging....merely related stories or suggestions on how to help him, myself and/or my family....

Thanks
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Comments (10)

Do not lecture him, it won't help! He knows what he did. He is there because of it!

Treat him normal like it never happen, talk or write to him about everyday life. Yes, even the future when he gets out. Do not reform him. If he does not want to do it himself, he never will! He will judge himself!frustrated

Talk about the good things that are happening around you, be possitive at all times!thumbs up

It will take along time, will seem forever!blues

Sorry, Hi! It just a thought!!dunno
I am not judging .. he has been judged and juried. In my country - UK - we have a group called victim support .. find out if you have it over there. After all you are all a victim of what your brother has done and you all need help.

Good luck to you all ... but get help - it is vital to you

bouquet
Not an expert however as I think is situation go against even than you are relative. If this is fist time and if he is not normaly a habbit than go.

Other hand if family is not going for is also some thing logical. One such incident similar to you I know here, none of family went for and he was realesd after 3 years. Now he is living simple life as he learnt a lesson.
Dear LookingFurLuv, I would suggest you contact A A or Alanon in your area . They are the ones who know how to deal with this problem . They also can advise the family members on the proper corse of action in these matters . The sad truth is untill he admits he has a problem it will never get solved . Also all of the A A members are former ofenders so they know what they are dealing with . Good luck and hope for the best .
Don't judge untill you know how someone gets where he is and why,
others will do that for you.
We are all human beings and dough we may think we are strong, you never know what life has in store for you, that makes you weak and do something you will regret for the rest of your life.
Talk to your parents and your brother, tell all of them what you think of the situation, you don't have to agree, but also tell them, no matter what, he will always be your brother and their son, and you will always love and support him, dough you don't like what he has done.
I think family support is the most important there is. Let him know you will be there if he needs you.
Tell your parents not to be ashamed, they did not tell him to do this, and do they know what happens behind the neighbours door?
Keep your head up high, and try to make the best of it.
Tomorrow there will be someone else doing something wrong and that will be the talk of the day then.
I wish you all strenght and the courage to show others you love this man, that will make you strong.
I want to say that society tends to blame family especially the parents. But a strong family would be able to see that an individuals decision is simply that the individuals decision. While I understand that as a parent we get depressed thinking what did i do wrong. while their are parents who do parent wrong and dont admit it. Society judges the group not the individual. For example a murder's family may be targeted for revenge is not fair or right. I would say pray for your whole family. This is the time we look at our neighbors an find out who are real friends are.
While you may never know what changed your brother dont see it as a weakness on his part. Sometimes we need a wake up call so that we are reminded that no one is immune to problems.
Seek guidance from your church or other community groups even if its in the next town. Dont turn your back on your family especially your brother write letters send a care package especially now with the holidays fast approaching

Good luck and God bless.
You are probably right, my comment was based on the so tough sentencing policy we seem to have. I dont think there is room in our prisons for drug possessors, especially not with Ken Clarke as Justice Secretary.
if it's pushing... then, all u have to think is: "the town is a lil safer now"

if it's personal usage.... then he should be outa there asap.
Sometimes it takes a dose of jail or a hard knock to get someone back in balance with life. I know when I was younger I would go out and party drive home when I should not have and it lasted far to long and getting caught and spending some time in jail was the best thing that could have happened. It could have ended alot worse for him just hope this wakes him up if so it will be well worth it in the end.

Good Luck
First tip, do not reject him ! As for your parents, are sad because the lack of education towards your brother ! We know the society, the friends can change a person, but if he had strong principles inoculated from childhood, he wasn't here today ! So the best advice is let the people talk and try to gain your brother back !
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created Sep 2011
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