101 Uses For Canned Air (#'s 1-36)

1. USE ALONG WITH MILK TO CREATE A FAKE CAPPUCCINO.
2. ADDED INCENTIVE DURING "ROACH RACES."
3. INSTANT METHANE REMOVAL FROM OFFICE OR CUBICLE.
4. CAN BE USED TO RE-CREATE THAT "GREAT NORTHEASTERN WIND A BLOWIN" WHEN CALLING CLIENTS.
5. A QUICK AND SOMETIMES EFFICIENT WAY TO GIVE YOURSELF THAT "HARRIED" LOOK AT THE OFFICE – TO BE AVOIDED BY TOUPEE WEARERS.
6. HAVING A BAD HAIR DAY? THEN SLAP SOME WATER ON YOUR HEAD, SMOOTH YOUR HAIR AND DRY IT WITHOUT HAVING TO BEND OVER TO GET TO THE HAND DRYER.
7. QUICK BURN RELIEF: USE SPARINGLY, OR YOU'LL END UP WITH FREEZER BURN, TOO.
8. DOG TRAINING – IT’S BETTER THAN WHISTLING.
9. CAT REMOVAL – A QUICK PSSSSSSSSSSSST IS GUARANTEED TO SCARE EVEN THE TOUGHEST ALLEY CAT.
10. CLEANING THE LINT BUILDUP OUT OF YOUR NAVEL ON REALLY SLOW DAYS. AND WHY IS THE LINT ALWAYS BLUE?
11. AIM AT THE TOP OF THE CUBICLE CABINET TOWARD THE PERSON ON THE OTHER SIDE TO MOVE DUST AND OTHER MISCELLANEOUS DEBRIS TO WHERE IT RIGHTLY BELONGS.
12. USE THE COOLING NATURE OF CANNED AIR TO HEAT UP YOUR OFFICE IN THE COLD WINTER MONTHS. JUST SPRAY THE THERMOSTAT WITH A HEALTHY SHOT OF CANNED AIR, AND WAIT FOR THE HEAT TO KICK IN!
13. WHILE CAN IS BEHIND YOUR BACK, FOLLOW SOMEONE INTO THE ELEVATOR AND A GOOD, LONG BLAST, THEN LOOK AROUND EXCITEDLY EXCLAIMING THAT YOU'RE TOO YOUNG TO DIE THIS WAY.
14. GIVE A WHISTLE THE ENERGY IT NEEDS TO CONVINCE YOUR BOSS THE EVACUATION ALARM SOUNDED.
15. CONSERVE TREES BY BLOWING THE SEEDS AND EXCREMENT FROM THE BOTTOM OF BIRD CAGES, THUS SAVING THE PAPER FOR FURTHER USAGE.
16. CLEAN THE CRUMBS FROM A BUCKET SEAT.
17. DON'T HANDLE THEM DIRECTLY - BLOW THE DUST OFF THOSE MOUSE BALLS!
18. EAR WAX REMOVAL. PLACE THREE DROPS OF WARM SALT WATER IN THE EAR CANAL. ALLOW TO SET FOR ONE MINUTE. HOLD AIR-STRAW TWO INCHES FROM EAR CANAL, BLOW... SEE IF YOU CAN HIT SOMEONE WITH THE FLYING WAX.
19. BLOWING LIQUID THROUGH A STRAW. WITH THE USE OF COMPRESSED AIR, THE LIQUID CAN BE BLOWN FURTHER. WITH THE USE OF 1/2" DIAMETER PLASTIC TUBING, AND A MIDNIGHT TUBE-RUNNING OFFICE VISIT, IT CAN BE BLOWN ON UNSUSPECTING CO-WORKERS FROM BEHIND CLOSED DOORS.
20. REV UP THAT GRILL: STAND BACK ABOUT TWO FEET AND REV UP YOUR CHARCOAL GRILL FIRE WITH A FEW BLOWS!
21. BLOWING UP SKIRTS À LA MARILYN MONROE.
22. WART REMOVAL: INVERT CAN, SPRAY TO FREEZE WART.
23. FREEZE GUM THAT IS STUCK IN THE CARPET OR UPHOLSTERY AND THEN REMOVE WITH A PUTTY KNIFE.
24. REMOVING CATS FROM KEYBOARDS.
25. REMOVING ANNOYING NON-IT COWORKERS (THEY USUALLY THINK IT’S SOME SORT OF HARMFUL CHEMICAL).
26. REMOVING TOILET WATER FROM A CELL PHONE DROPPED THERE BY MY 16-YEAR-OLD.
27. PAPERWEIGHT – PARTICULARLY USEFUL WHILE USING ANOTHER CAN TO DUST DESK.
28. ON SLOW DAYS, DRAW A SHUFFLEBOARD DIAGRAM ON A TABLETOP; USE CANNED AIR TO SHOOT BOTTLE CAPS TO SCORE.
29. CANNED AIR IS PERFECT FOR CLEANING THE CUT WHISKERS OUT OF YOUR ELECTRIC RAZOR.
30. CLEANING RESIDUE FROM COFFEE GRINDER.
31. BLOWING EXCESS CHEESE OUT OF YOUR MAC ‘N CHEESE.
32. INFLATING UNDERSTUFFED RAVIOLI TO CREATE THE ILLUSION OF OVERSTUFFED.
33. PUT A FROTH OF FOAM ON YOUR COFFEE, AND IT’S CHEAPER THAN STARBUCKS.
34. TURN THE CAN UPSIDE DOWN AND QUICKLY COOL YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF JELL-O AFTER BOILING IT IN THE MICROWAVE. PARTICULARLY EFFECTIVE FOR GREEN JELL-O.
35. ALSO GREAT FOR THAT HALF-BOTTLE OF MOUNTAIN DEW ON THE CORNER OF THE DESK WHEN YOU JUST WON’T DRINK IT WARM.
36. FILL CAN WITH MILDLY PRESSURIZED, PURIFIED AIR (NOTHING BUT 78% N2, 21% O2, 0.94% AR2, 0.03% CO2 AND A 0.03% MIX OF OTHER NATURAL ELEMENTAL GASES). THIS RESULTS IN A COLORLESS AND ODORLESS MIXTURE. THEN, WHENEVER YOU TIRE OF THE SMELL AND POISONS OF POLLUTION, JUST SPRAY THE PURE AIR IN YOUR FACE AND BREATHE DEEP!