Happy July Fourth!
It starts today.Chemo therapy.
I find i have a rather confrontational attitude about this. Over the next several weeks.. i will know much more twelve hours from now -my docs and I will be involved in a two fold contest, their job destroy all the cells that I do not need for complete and perfect health,
my job to support and maintain the health of all those cells I do need that are going to be standing in the line of fire and are going to take repeated hits before the bell rings.
My sister will stay glued to my side today. I tell her all my symptoms, physical and emotional so she can remind me if I forget to mention them to a doc, and she helps me listen to what they tell me and reminds me of specific questions I have. When struck with lack of focus use someone else's brain.
Anyway I am well rested as I did nothing yesterday beyond collect the 24 hours output of urine they want for setting up my baseline profiles I guess and I watched Neil Gaiman's Neverwhen, all six episodes ,in between pit stops.
Not at alll sure what or whether to eat this morning - nothing is appealing as it crosses my mind's eye. Perhaps yoguurt with a spiral of blueberry honey backed up with salmon oil capsules. If I don't eat I will be ravenous by ten and so low blood sugar I'll be shaking. Athermos of soup perhaps.
This is really a very scary time. I have no idea what happens next except there is a certainty it involves needles and a strong possibility it involves throwing up. Two things that I have always found i dislike intensely. Peppermint teabags - there is a hot water thingy in the chemo room.
Time to hit the shower and stop thinking and start doing again. I am sure I will have a tale to tell later.
Comments (7)
I cant help thinking of some of your poems from a few months back which focussed on 'mornings' and which I loved so much for the sense of renewal that you managed to convey in them - it will soon be morning again for you Dorielle and this whole phase will seem just like a nightmare from a scarry restless night.
I wish you strength and send you masses of love.........
I wish you all the best and healthy come back. You will be OK !!! Thank God you have your sister with you.
Matti
In my own recent <minor> battle with pancreatitus, the Docs have been unable to tell anything definitive at all. Yet.
It seems that there are quite a few things which they know cause pancreatitus and several other things that cause it that they can't figure out. I seem to have fallen into the latter category.
But my own health issues pale in comparison with yours and you continue to awe me with your bravery and matter of fact approach. And yes, I know that you may not always FEEL brave, but you continue to do what needs to be done despite feeling a bit overwhelmed at times and that shows TRUE BRAVERY.
Know that you are in our hearts and our prayers and we are blessed to be counted amongst your friends.
...Don...
Rahul
Do this people really know what they are doing they seem so young and every day a different face.
They ask well how are you doing what is that ? to that I dont know do they?
Are we going through the motions and why is every one smiling when you are done and they mark your card and tick another session off.
Anyhow we must solider on and fight the fight love you blogs meet you when its done.
Good vibes and healing thoughts from me to you as always