Unconditional Love
My understanding of unconditional love is based on the following premises: There is no difference between us. We are all part of the One Spirit. We are the many faces of God, equally and impartially, each with our unique place and purpose. Every living thing—every person, every animal, every plant, every speck of dirt—is part of this single animating spirit.We may have been born in different places, our skin may be different colors, we may worship different Gods, but every human being is my brother or my sister and my teacher. You are Me and I am You—we were simply born into different bodies and a different set of circumstances. Each of us is a reflection of divine power and worthy of great love; each of us is a unique spark of universal energy, forging our own relationship with the world.
There are many ways to perceive and experience existence. In the words of that great sage
Jerry Garcia, “I can’t imagine that my opinion is the only one that’s right.” I acknowledge that I cannot know what is best for you. I have not been where you have been. I do not know the lessons that await you, or how, or when you will learn them, but with great love and respect I honor your right to make your own future.
I liberate myself from judgment, fear, resentment and shame. I release old hurts and the expectations of love returned. I forgive all harm. I do not ignore harm or place myself in harm's way—many people walk a path I choose not to walk—but I do not add my energy to their quest.
Before I criticize, before I speak at all, I ask myself, “Is this true? Is this kind? Is this necessary?” If not, let it be left unsaid. And if it is true and it is necessary, then I accept responsibility for finding a way to say it kindly.
But mostly I focus my energy on my own evolution. I keep it for my Self.
In order to love Others unconditionally, I understand that I must love my Self most of all. I am Love’s instrument—the very manifestation of Love—and I must be protected that I may trumpet Love’s song. Therefore, I set boundaries that ensure “I” take full responsibility for my own experience.
I love my Self, both of us, all of us, even with all our foibles and our failings. This does not mean that I helplessly endure flaws but that I recognize them for what they are: springboards for improvement, catalysts of change and a necessary part of personal growth. Mistakes are my portals of self-discovery.
And because I know it is impossible to fill my heart with unconditional love if I harbor bitterness,
anger, guilt or any feeling that is not Love, I examine and release these feelings as they arise, putting Love first, entertaining thoughts that give Life. When a resentment or hurt or fear bubbles up,
I consciously substitute a thought that is more powerful, a thought that is Love.
I silently but sincerely bless and send Love to everyone I meet, even the guy who cut me off in traffic—especially the guy who cut me off in traffic!—because I cannot level the fire of my anger at those I have just blessed with my Love.
Unconditional Love requires Acting with Love even when I don’t Feel Loving. I Act with Love—always, always. I am patient and kind with my Self and Others. I forgive my Self and Others our real and imagined failures.
By Carolyn L. Mabry
