not having expectations...
My determination to not let the experiences of others influence me seems to be workiing. I think I am feeling the side effects of my chemo - my own side effects dictated by my genetic makeup and general state of health.I have completely lost interest in food. neither scent nor appearance exercises the slightest appeal or challenge and eating simply because one must is not that much fun. Although the flavour of mango sorbet still seduces me and I am indulging my current passion by having sorbet or mango juice AFTER the fish or lamb chop or grilled veggie pizza. It keeps me eating.
Side effect number two is severe constipation - three words as remedy, salt water flush, followed by increased fluid and fibre intakes. and number three is a remarkable tendency towards the morose and impatience with other peoples' foibles.
I had this week beautifully planned. Recording with my client miss H today completeling the current series of shows, sending my sister back to St. Lucia tomorrow for a week to give her a much needed break, dreading the time I will be cut off but plannning to get ready with rest and nutrition for cycle two..
Unfortunately miss H cancelled this morning because of personal problems amd my circs mean I am not available either this week or next week...the show is not a problem because I always have material available but it upsets the balance in the current series a little AND I had wanted all the new recording done so all I would need to focus on was editing and assembly. Like real sick leave for a while.
I think my sister had a moment when she thought I was going to say I would need her to stay (there was a half second when the thought started to form but one of my rules is do not offer something unless you are sure you can follow through and do not withraw offers once made unless circumstances are dire,.)but I can manage and there are all those people who said call me if I can be of any help I already set up my ride to the hospital on wednesday so it is all good. Except I shall miss her.
Good practice being a grown up for me! Anyway, it will all work out in the end,I have this new idea for choreographed apoptosis to implement...thanks bnatural
Comments (4)
I am praying for you you are truly an amazing person keep up the good work! You are doing great!!!
God Bless,
Lora
Sorry about Ms. H., and good luck carrying on with your sis. I know you'll manage, but the company must've been nice, too.
Have fun choerographing your apoptosis, sweetie!