Communication Theme
I am troubled to the core of being. I told myself these are baby steps back to the world. I feel numb and I want to cry. Why would someone lash out to me in such a mean way? Is what he says true? Am I bad person? Am I dishonest? Did I convey messages other than what I intended? Am I just screwed up?Maybe I'm not ready to be out in the world again. Maybe after five years the wounds are still too tender to be exposed to the light of day - to the single world again. I sit here in front of my computer, shell shocked as the words practically jump off the screen with the full force of the intended cruelty, pain, and rejection. I sit numb and silent, defenseless, as the meaning of the offensive tactic sinks in.
And then BAM! Here's comes blow number two out of nowhere. I wasn't looking for the connection. I don't even know what he expected. All I know is, it wasn't what he wanted and I'm promptly given the virtual F off.
Communication seems to be a theme for me right now.
(YA THINK??!!)