Does Copious Choice Beget a Dearth of Decision?
Good morning Friday;Does copious choice beget a dearth of decision?
I suppose there are as many answers to this question as there are respondents. It depends on what your experience has exposed you to and, subsequently, how you define copious choice. It depends on your perspective and how you process choice. Is an abundance of choice defined as three or more choices? For some people, it could be having as few as two choices that cause confusion. At what point does paralysis from analysis occur?
These thoughts make me ponder how copious choice plays out on a singles dating site.
I perceive the world has the appearance of shrinking. I see response time between a written message and its reply now counted in breaths, and how frequent contact with persons in far away cultures signifies a (superficial) exposure to every culture through the arbitrary adoption of idioms and phrases without necessarily reflecting any investment of time to absorb any particular worldview that shapes them; or even an understanding of the individual as a person who speaks them. It was once an accepted fact that one had to be immersed within a culture to appreciate it, but many people believe in the perception we live in a global village where space, time and even thought process are contracted today. And, for the most part, we live oblivious to the knowledge we are harbouring a kind of Mondocultural absolutism that, ironically, is a far greater barrier to our actual understanding of others than actual physical separation.
Yet, here we are, from Afghanistan to Yemen, from all points of the compass rose with one wish, seemingly unified but separated through our interpretations of this wish.
I look at the many photos and read the many profiles (you would expect that I do read the profiles, wouldn’t you?) and I wonder if all this is a mere illusion of choice? How many lonely but well-adjusted adults are actually taking themselves out of the equation of a successful relationship because they wait for the perfect person to flawlessly articulate an accurate representation of him or herself according to another’s understanding of what is written among an endless slideshow of candidates at their fingertips? A common picture of this would be flipping channels in an infinite universe of television programs searching for the right show to enjoy.
Is that the modern relationship? Well, if the majority of people believe the illusion then it becomes the reality within which we live, doesn't it? But that reality does not vouch for the strength of those relationships based in the illusion. It translates to our endless wait for the right person whom we believe will arrive, if we just keep waiting while we take no decision about what is around us today.
If we were immortal and able to comprehend the whole universe, or swallow all knowledge as the Polish say, that illusion might work out.
Comments (5)
I would rather think of it as an Illusion of choice.
Although there is much to choose from there are also factors that prohibit what we may obtain.
In a shop price of course, then requirements, age restrictions and of course availability and reserved status.
People are even more complicated, They don't believe themselves to be products and have to also choose you to become part of your choice criteria. After you really study the available options of the things that are solely within your grasp, are the Options so Copious ?
I think not.
I believe compromise assists in maintaining a relationship and yet, many people tend to want to manipulate, instead of communicate.
Interesting read. Thank you
Well if the choice here is real – if all the profiles on this website are real people and let’s assume for the sake of argument that the majority of profiles are real, and more real profiles are added to the listings here every day – is this place illusory? I mean, the owners of these profiles are all here looking right? That would be the purpose, the attraction, of a dating site like this.
So does this (even if we just call it a belief rather than a reality) cause a resistance to making a decision? Do we feel we are settling by making our choice? Do we feel trapped by it? Children walk through a toy store and unabashedly want every toy that grabs their attention, but how often do even they play with the toys once they return home? Yet, on the next trip to the toy store, there are always more toys to bring home.
Now people do not want to think of themselves as commodities but is it not similar here? Without judging the individual profiles, there are so many pretty pictures and alluring profiles….
Now it is possible for people feeling trapped in a relationship to also come here and look at the menu. They may not be focused on finding the right person as much as comparing their situation against another type of illusion being sold here by… how to put this delicately: profiles of losers. They would seek these out for a kind of confirmation that their relationship isn’t so bad.
And, again, I feel that be a self-made illusion based upon the real amount of choice at their fingertips.
As I wrote to nonsmoker, I do not think the choices available on this site are an illusion. I think they are real – or, as real as we want or need them to be. The grass is always greener in the other pasture if we want it to be.
Your observation about focus - relationship participants focusing on the relationship like two birds building a nest together - is very much on point with my own thoughts. Was it John Stuart Mill who wrote happiness is to be found when our minds are not focused on our own happiness?