GROWING OLD
GROWING OLD...
we are living longer in this country ..average is about 76.. but are we living better???...the majoriety of seniors...over (50 )folks!!!..like it or not..if your over 50 you have lived 66% of your projected life span.. so your not young..face lifts.tummy tucks...trips to the gym..knee replacements..hips..bypass surgery.. heart transplants..all are driving our society into debt..our social security and insurance was never ment to cover this quest for perpetual youth.. and it seems to do little to forstall..the final descent into old age..
i for one am finding this a hard road to travel.. i work..hard and long hours.. 12 hour shifts up for 18 and turn around and do it again..
its hard to find someone to share your life with at my age..you are not a viable entity anymore..women are not looking at you as a provider ...a potential father.. a protector.. at my age (59) your more of a liability ..ready to drop at any given moment..older women seem to be done with men.. have had their failed relationships.. suffered and once free of the yoke..tend to not want to go back..and they tend to socialize in female groups..men do not.. i seem to know a lot of older guy and they are like me..alone..work and work..and little else..unless they are active with their children... the fear of a stroke..heart attack..of waking up one morning and not knowing who or where you are
these fears have made me angry...about growing old..as my body fails me.. and i find socially i am unwanted.. my last attempt at finding a soulmate ended with .. you want to much in a relationship..your not active enough..your to fat..your health is not to good.. your to sedentary..you not finacially secure.. you make less than i.. all things that alas were true..but things i thought i could change ...in time.. but ..time was not to be given...with that in mine
BOOKENDS
i sit ...and stare...
you feed me...bathe me,
wipe my face..comb my hair.
move me from ..place to place.
i am a bookend ..not a matched set.
moved from here to there.. at others will.
nothing of vaule..but hard to replace.
cracked and mended..old and broken.
one of a kind..but out of place.
what do we do ..when we become......
bookends
