The Facts About Santa
The other day I heard a 7 year old boy saying that the devil is just like Santa – it is actually your grandpa. But he was wrong. So to eliminate any confusion I will answer the most frequently asked questions about Santa.Does Santa really exist?
Yes. Santa Clause is alive and well and living in Norway. I have the photo to prove it and if you don’t believe me ask Welela. She also has a pic of him.
Where is Santa now?
Right now he is at the local shopping centre. So hurry; stocks are limited.
Is Santa Married?
Yes
Who is Santa’s wife?
Santa is married to Mary Christmas. They have been married for centuries.
Do they have any children?
No, they have none. Do you think they would be giving the toys away if they had kids of their own to break the toys?
Why do they have no children?
They have no children because Santa only comes once a year and that is down the chimney.
Ok. that should do it. This should be a good guide on what to tell your grand children without incriminating yourself.
Enjoy this day wherever you are and start darning those old stockings.
Comments (42)
Entirely my please.
Have a great day.
So thats why the chimney sweep comes once a year too...!
I suspect the chimney sweeper does his job just before Santa comes for I had never seen any soot on Santa's clothes.
Hi girl.
Pasop. It could be the big bad wolf too.
Ask Zman; we went to Sunday school together. I can still remember how neatly he combed his hair and how well behaved he was.
I won't lie about things like this.
And Santa is real too.
I had him for xmas last year
I am hoping for another visit this year
God bless him---and me ONCE A YEARERS
Why does that sound like a one night stand to me?
You must be careful of Santa; he gets around.
No you are the one night stand man
Eishhh
Me and my big trap. My mother spent the first five years to get me to talk and the rest of her life to get me to shut up. I should have listened to her.
Have good eve cat
He's been in loads of films.
and always plays as himself Too.
Yes and that is quite unlike Tarzan and James Bond
is santa gonna visit my brain
You know Bond 007
Well Im Double r nothing.
I have a mission for you. The plunge is missing and it is threatening the world. Find out who took the plunge and bring it home.
Destroy after reading.
Dont I get some kind of gadget
Santa is cool. He brought me a whole stocking full of presents last year. I think I will hang two stockings this year. Who knows?
Hmm, I forgot about that. Here is a jar of vanishing cream. What is left over after the mission you can rub on the stomach of your 14 year old girlfriend.
You will find the jar only half filled. I had to use some of it on Miss Moneypenny's abdomen..
M
The answer is simple: He just got abducted by some UFOs who had landed on some other blog
Sorry, but will have to tell the kids the truth - they'll understand!
Now I feel very bad. I saw the abduction of a man in a funny looking red tunic and I did nothing to stop it. I thought it was the pope. Poor kids.
You can't show your face on the blogs anymore now...
Pity though, I quite liked your new photo!
What is Banzinka?
Hmm, It was unforgivable. I cannot face the kids. I will have to grow a beard and open a new profile.