Govt Vs God
And the Lord spoke to Noah:In one year from today, I'm going to make it rain until the whole earth is covered with water and all the evil people are destroyed.
But I want to save a few good people, and two of every kind of living thing on the planet.
I am ordering you to build Me an Ark.
And in a flash of lightning He delivered the specifications for an Ark.
Okay, said Noah, trembling in fear and fumbling with the blueprints.
Remember, One year from today and it starts to rain, thundered the Lord. You'd better have my Ark completed, or learn how to swim for a very long time.
12 months had passed. The skies began to cloud up and rain began to fall.
The Lord saw that Noah was sitting in his front yard, weeping. And there was no Ark.
Noah, shouted the Lord, where is my Ark?
A lightning bolt crashed into the ground next to Noah, for emphasis.
Lord, please forgive me, begged Noah. I did my best, but there were big problems.
First I had to get a building permit for the Ark construction project, and your plans didn't meet code. So I had to hire an engineer to redraw the plans. Then I got into a big fight over whether or not the Ark needed a fire sprinkler system and safety rafts. My neighbours objected, claiming I was violating zoning by building the Ark in my front yard, so I had to get a variance from the city planning commission.
Then I had a big problem getting enough wood for the Ark because there was a ban on cutting trees to save the yellow bellied red feathered green crested blue eyed unidodo. (a type of bird)
Then the carpenters formed a union and went out on strike. I had to negotiate a settlement with the National Labor Relations Board before anyone would pick up a saw or a hammer.
Now we got 16 carpenters going on the boat, and still no unidodo's.
Then I started gathering up the animals, and got sued by an animal rights group. They objected to me taking only two of each kind.
Just when I got the suit dismissed, EPA notified me that I couldn't complete the Ark without filing an environmental impact statement on your proposed flood. They didn't take very kindly to the idea that they had no jurisdiction over the conduct of the Creator of the universe.
Then the Army Corps of Engineers wanted a map of the proposed new flood plain. So i sent them a globe.
And then the TAX man seized all my assets claiming I'm trying to avoid paying taxes by leaving the country.
Right now, I am trying to resolve a complaint filed with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission that I am practising discrimination by not taking godless, unbelieving people aboard!
I just got a notice from the State that I owe some kind of user tax and failed to register the Ark as a recreational water craft.
Finally the ACLU got the courts to issue an injunction against further construction of the Ark, saying that since God is flooding the earth, it is a religious event and therefore unconstitutional.
I really don't think I can finish your Ark for at least another five or six years, Noah wailed.
The sky began to clear. The sun began to shine. A rainbow arched across the sky. Noah looked up and smiled.
You mean you're not going to destroy the earth? Noah asked, hopefully.
Being Lord of the Universe has its advantages. I fully intend to punish the people, but with something far worse than a flood.
Something man invented himself.
The government!
Comments (24)
i know you arent speaking for yourself but your country
I am guessing it is true the world over....
settle down my friend,
we may have to call the ambulance to take you to hospital where you will stay on the gurny for 3 days due to a shortage of beds available, and of course the ambulance fee will keep you working well past your retirement age just to pay them.
BUT
on the bright side,
you will have nurses attending to you, or at least walking past you, if they are not on strike.
Rain it appears is the least of your worries.
if my memory is correct,
there is a certain female member on the blogs that used to be a parking inspector.
best i leave it at that, otherwise your temper may flare up like your blood pressure appears to have done.
and while these corrupt officials are trying to find all the corners of this round earth, they leave behind them such a mess that often i wish the world was flat and they would just fall off.
ah we meet on my blog.
where do you work,
my first thought would be for a Government department, maybe a local council.
But seeing as i have already taken a sneak at your profile, i am going to say at a Hospital of some nature.
Red Tape or whatever we like to call it has certainly gone to the nth degree over the years.
I remember once that i needed a new pen and book for a place i worked at.
i hade to write to the purchasing officer explaining what i needed and why i needed them.
Seeing as i didnt have a pen to write with nor the paper to write upon,
i sent him an email which he failed to accept as it was not in writing.
What did i do.
i had a box of matches and went to the toilet to get some paper towels from there.
I lit a match and started to write on the paper towel with the blacken end of the match.
i went through about 20 matches before i had written all that i had too.
I delivered said paper towel to the purchasing officer who refused my request on the grounds that i had a writing utensil and paper.
true story.
I can believe that is a true story!!...sad but true...
Tremendous blog! I enjoyed it extremely!
very true and very sad......
Thank you my dear dear friend.
I must admit though, I do worry about you, You appear on many blogs stating that you enjoy them all.
i have never heard you say you didnt like a blog.
maybe you are too easily pleased, or that you have great taste.
Stay good Calleis
glad to see back.
Take Care and be good ok.
well i hope to write more.
you are very sweet and polite.
thank you.
I think governments the world over are corrupt one way or another.
The scary part about politicians is they were ordinary people and somewhat honest
Before they were elected.
I gave seen various different types of these a few years ago as well.
Different but carry the same Message
Governments do make silly and frustrating rules at times.